There are only 3 things that fathers need to survive these early, unrelenting child-rearing years. 1) Coffee. Because only you and the night manager at CVS know what 4 AM on the clock looks like. 2) Beer. Because coffee is for closers and beer is for everyone. And 3) Meat. In the words of Jim Harbaugh, you take a vitamin every day. It’s called steak.
Here is a complete guide on how to consume each of the things the correct way.
Drink Guinness For Strength
Homer may think alcohol is the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems, but science actually backs some of that statement. While a Bukowski level of inebriation isn’t good for anyone (least of all Bukowski), research has found moderate drinking is apparently good for the brain, cholesterol, life expectancy, and your heart. Things it’s not good for: Your liver, your colon, or your boobs. Or someone else’s boobs.
– Science Is Reasonably Convinced You Should Have A Drink Tonight
Hold A Meat And Greet
Jared Stone did something you think about on every Costco run: He bought an entire cow. As he detailed in Year Of The Cow, investing in Bessie not only gave his family meat for a year but also taught his kids some important lessons about where food actually comes from. If you want them to stop snacking and start feasting, here are a few tips from a guy who decided beef, it’s what’s for dinner — every goddam night.
– Cooking Tips From A Guy Who Fed His Family For A Year With A Quarter-Ton Steer
Cup Of Whoa!
Science giveth (beer is saving your life!) and science taketh away (bacon causes cancer!), but there’s some great news about coffee that will make you want to give your local medical researcher a big hug: Studies have found that drinking 2 cups of coffee a day helps prevent liver disease. Not only that, but it also has possible benefits against diabetes and Parkinson’s disease. Aww, science, how could anybody stay mad at you?
– The Health Benefits of Coffee Just Got Way More Fun
In most beer drinker’s operating manual, first, you buy the beer. Then you chill the beer. Then you drink the beer. But if you had a some of this drinking accouterment, you wouldn’t be so callous with your suds. Get yourself everything from growlers that help beer taste like just came from a bright tank to self-cooling classes that make it last. Better yet, make your kids get it for you.
– All The Gear You Need For The Perfect Glass of Beer
Now You’re Cooking
If you want to introduce your child to the wonders of a tender hanger steak, or why they need to remember the ratio 80/20 when it comes to burgers, listen to Hugh Acheson. The James Beard Award-winning chef knows a bit about introducing your kid to cooking, because he has two sous chefs who can dress the hell out of a salad — to go with that meat.
– This Is How You Raise A Kid Who Cooks Better Than You
James MacKinnon, author of The 100-Mile Diet, takes that locavore thing pretty seriously. But not so serious that he’ll knife you for eating a tomato during a New England winter. The gist of his advice is, get kids involved in gathering food. If it’s not found locally (like peanut butter) grab it from your local Trader Joe’s. And above all, rolling with the seasons feels right. Nobody eats pumpkin pie poolside.
– Grocery Shopping Advice From the Guy Who Devised The 100-Mile Diet
99 Bottles Of Beer On These Walls
The bar was traditionally a place to dodge the kids. And wives. And sobriety. But now bars across America are telling modern parents, “Come back, and bring the little ones.” What makes these 10 food drinkeries some of the best family-friend bars across America? Ample outdoor spaces. Games that don’t involve sharp objects or bookies. Kid-approved eats. But most importantly, adult-approved drinks.
– The 10 Most Kid-Friendly Bars In America
How To Take A Coffee Nap
Like the words “definite maybe,” living dead, or Tom “Tiny” Lister, Jr., “coffee nap” should be an oxymoron to work into your daily lexicon. Research points to the benefits of getting some shut eye right after drinking a red eye because it takes about 20 minutes or so for that caffeine to creep into your system. By going to sleep, you flush out the brain chemical adenosine, which makes you sleepy, leaving room for the effects of your sweet, sweet wake up juice.
– The Completely Counterintuitive Way To Maximize Your Coffee
Cleanup On Every Aisle
Supermarkets are built to confound the average shopper. They blind you with name-brand cereals and pre-sliced cheese until you have no choice but to skip the 10 Items Or Fewer (hey, blame proper grammar) line. But with these 9 apps, you can find the best cuts, the best deals, the best nutrition, and best of all, ways to skip shopping in a grocery store entirely.
– 9 Apps That Bend The Grocery Store To Your Will
Give Your Coffee A Break
Jell-O shots. Top Ramen. Bonnaroo. All things you did in your 20s because you were young and didn’t realize there was more to life. Now that you’re an adult, instead of taking a medicinal dose of bad, instant coffee in the morning, try 1 of these 10 best coffee making tools. Turn a morning cup of coffee something you want to do, instead of something your brain forces you to do.
– 10 Things You Need To Brew The Perfect Cup Of Coffee