Entertainment

Ranking All the Kids From ‘Jurassic World’ and ‘Jurassic Park’

Forget dinosaurs, the kids are why these movies succeed or fail.

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The success of one of the five existing Jurassic movies is largely dependent on awesome dinosaur action, but there’s another, perhaps even more important factor: children. Each Jurassic movie from the original to the latest entry, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, has its own resident child through which the magic and awe of dinosaurs can be properly and completely appreciated. But, which Jurassic kid is the best?

To be fair, all the kids in the Jurassic movies are great, and this ranking isn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or say these actors are bad people. Instead, we just wanted to figure out how the kids stack up against each other, totally independent of the movies they’re in, or the other children they’re often paired with. This list is totally subjective. All children and all dinosaurs are wonderful and perfect.

(Some spoilers for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom ahead.)

7. Zach from Jurassic World

Zach is the older brother of Gray in Jurassic World. His big claim to fame in this movie is that he stops flirting for one second to pay attention to his little brother while they’re on vacation. Zach is fine, and correctly love Chris Pratt’s raptor motorcycle gang, but because he doesn’t love dinosaurs all that much, he’s not going to gain the top spot on this list.

6. Eric from Jurassic Park III

Eric gets points for surviving on Isla Sonar by himself, and probably stealing urine from a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but because he’s in the single worst Jurassic movie of them all, he can’t possibly hope to win the best Jurassic kid of all time award. Sorry, Eric!

5. Gray from Jurassic World

The younger boy in Jurassic World is actually great. His enthusiasm for dinosaurs reminded a lot of older viewers of how they felt when the first movie came out. Plus, he’s not a recreation of Tim from the first movie, instead, Gray feels like a genuine and normal dinosaur fan.

4. Tim from Jurassic Park

Tim is a classic dinosaur nerd and gets massive points for name-dropping everyone from paleontologist Bob Bakker to Omni magazine. Still, however classic, Tim’s status of being in the first Jurassic Park movie isn’t enough to guarantee a win as the best Jurassic kid ever. But to his credit, Tim did survive getting electrocuted! Pretty dope.

3. Kelly from The Lost World: Jurassic Park

An underdog! In the second Jurassic film ever, we learn that Dr. Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) had a daughter from a relationship that didn’t work out. Kelly is also a gymnast and uses her skills to defeat a Velociraptor. For the record, this is the only child in the Jurassic movies who FIGHTS dinosaurs and wins.

2. Maisie from Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

The newest Jurassic kid is one of the best ever. Not only is Maisie a secret clone of herself, but she also is single-handedly responsible for letting dinosaurs loose in North America. Also, all the other Jurassic kids had to face dinosaurs in a dinosaur-like environment, but Maisie had to deal with a dino-attack in her own bedroom. Other than Kelly, she’s easily one of the toughest kids in this movie series.

1. Lex From Jurassic Park

She’s a vegetarian. She’s a hacker. She fixed the computer systems of the original Jurassic Park as a tween. The older sister in the first Jurassic Park is still the greatest Jurassic kid of them all!

– Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is out in theaters now. All three original Jurassic Park movies are streaming on Netflix right now. –

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