Kids are adorable but they can also be pretty creepy. The very same wide-eyed wonder that makes them so cute and innocent can be distorted, inexplicably turning an adorable child into nightmare fuel. That’s why, when writer Mikki Kendall asked people on Twitter to share the creepiest things a child has ever said to them, people had a lot to say. And while there were plenty of hilarious answers from everyone, parents ended up dominating, the conversation sharing stories of everything from odd questions about death to creepy statements about stuffed animals.
People who interact with kids, what is the single weirdest/creepiest thing a kid has ever said to you? It's Saturday night so why not creep yourself out? pic.twitter.com/6pK92nOkmG
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) January 28, 2018
One dad shared about the time his son briefly transformed into a tiny Hannibal Lecter.
My son, at five years old:
"Daddy, I'm gonna eat you up."
"Yeah, I'm gonna cut you into little pieces."
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) January 28, 2018
A young girl gave her mom an odd explanation as to why she was turning all of her stuffed animals around before bed.
Walked in on my lass turning all of her stuffed animals around. Wyd?
P: I just can't sleep with all these eyes watching me. I don't know how you do it… pic.twitter.com/Nepkufw3qd
— talytr (@tltroup) January 28, 2018
A seven-year-old boy seemed to briefly consider sacrificing his dad to the woods, whatever that means…
I was hiking alone in the woods with my son who was 7. It was eerie quiet. Out of nowhere he says “The woods demand a sacrifice.”
— YOUNG MT (@MXTracy66) January 28, 2018
Cemeteries are already creepy but they are way scarier when your daughter thinks a nonexistent man is waving at her.
Walking with my 2-yo in a cemetery by our house. She says “mommy, who is that man in the red jacket by the stone house?” She pointed to a mausoleum. There was no one else in the cemetery. “He’s waving at me!” She waved back. “He’s coming over to talk!”
— Kate, But the Tired Version (@Ardeospina) January 28, 2018
This four-year-old informed his dad that he had been killed in battle in another life.
"You died in the war with the Star-Spangled Banner, Daddy. The men in red killed you. But then you came back."
He's four. FOUR. And apparently my husband was killed by the British in the War of 1812.
— Anne Wheeler (@awheelerauthor) January 28, 2018
One child used an ethical dilemma to vaguely threaten his dad.
Walking to school one morning my daughter, then 7, asked me completely out of nowhere "Would you rather live in pain, or die in agony?" Still not sure whether it was a question or a threat.
— Steven Sheil (@SSheil) January 28, 2018
A mom discovered that her daughter thinks she’s currently on her third mom.
My daughter was about 5 when she says you’re the best mommy I ever had. I said I’m the only mommy you’ve ever had. She looks at me and says no your the 3rd one but I like you the best
And one mom recalled the time her daughter adorably told her she was going to die the next day.
"We're all gonna die."
"I know sweetie. That's just part of-"
"You're gonna die tomorrow."
— Iced Pound Cake (@ms_chel_ayyye) January 28, 2018
Ah, children. They’re adorable little creeps