25 Funniest Dirty Jokes Hidden in Animated Kid’s Films
Children’s movies are, well, made for kids, but they’re made by adults — adults who understand that parents make up a good deal of their audience. That’s why a lot of animators bury sexual innuendos, dirty one-liners, and other adult-themed jokes among the standard mix of gags. They’re sly and subtle, intended to fly over a kid’s head and into a parent’s ears. We combed through 25 classic animated children’s movies and found a wealth of subtle and blatantly obvious dirty jokes buried in the squeaky clean worlds. Here are 25 of the best.
25. Frozen: Size Doesn’t Matter
When Kristoff discovers Anna is engaged to someone she just met, he works a subtle but effective size joke into his interrogation of how well the princess really knows her betrothed.
24. Cars: Flashing Lights
After a big win, hot-shot Lightning McQueen meets a couple of female fans, who show their adoration by “flashing” him. Get it?
23. Emperor’s New Groove: Pitching a Tent
When Yzma’s hapless henchman Kronk is forced to spend the night out in the woods, he pitches a literal tent right over his man-parts. It’s safe to assume that tent isn’t being held up by just stakes.
22. Minions: My Eyes are Down Here
When those lovable Minions are denied access to the Tower of London without an adult, they dress up like a normal sized lady to sneak in. One Frenchman gets caught staring at “her” boobs, creating the weirdest eye contact of all time.
21. Shrek: Big Castle for a Little Man
When Shrek and Donkey spot the giant castle of Lord Farquad, they wisely deduce that he might be compensating for something a little smaller.
20. Toy Story 2: Buzz’s Wings Spring
At the end of Toy Story 2, the gang is finally reunited, with a couple new additions. When she shows off some of her skateboarding moves and the wings of Buzz’s space suit suddenly spring into action.
19. Madagascar: Marty’s Subtle Curse Words
When Alex the Lion begins chasing him, Marty the Zebra exclaims a seemingly random string of words out of pure terror. But crafty adults may realize that Sugar Honey Iced Tea secretly spells out a word daddy mutters often.
18. Wreck-It Ralph: Smack Talkin’ Pac-Man
When Pac-Man is invited to Felix’s party instead of him, the surly Ralph lets fly this insult but, really, Mr. Pacman should take it as a compliment.
17. Mulan: Limp Noodle
Mushu the dragon can’t resist tossing out this insult when one of the other soldiers calls Mulan (who is actually disguised as Ping) a “chicken boy.” Limp noodle seems innocent at first, but is secretly a savage burn.
16. Road to El Dorado: Caught in a Compromising Position
Tulio and Chel are unexpectedly interrupted by the high priest and based on where Chel’s head pops up in relation to Tulio’s junk, it’s safe to say they weren’t just chatting.
15. Monster House: So It’s a Girl House?
As our heroes begin to discover the house is, indeed, a living creature, they begin to identify its different “body parts.” Jenny says that they have been attacking the house’s uvula, which Chowder mistakes for the vulva.
14. Ratatouille: Veggie Lovin’
What exactly is Skinner referring to when he warns Alfredo about getting “too familiar” with vegetables? Is he taking a page out of Otter’s book? Yeah, he is. He’s talking about fucking vegetables.
13. Hercules: “That Oedipus Thing”
Hercules and Meg recall the weird play they just watched. This is the perfect joke for history buffs and people who love intense, incestuous psycho-sexual thrillers.
12. Aladdin & the King of Thieves: You Shook Me All Night Long
In this straight-to-DVD-but-still-pretty-solid-entry-into-the-Aladdin-cannon, Genie manages to work in a subtle joke about what goes on during the honeymoon just before Aladdin and Jasmine are getting hitched.
11. The Incredibles: “And Got Busaaaay”
Syndrome’s mind is blown when he realizes Mr. Incredible ended up marrying Elastigirl and starting a family. Of course, he has his own unique and douchey way of putting that into words.
10. Ice Age — Dawn of Dinosaurs: Milk Man
Sid the sloth has never been the brightest creature and he takes his stupidity to new heights when he tries to milk a male ram.
9. Zootopia: Bunnies Be Multiplying
When Officer Judy Hopps is hoping to intimidate Nick Wilde, she calls out his tax evasion and says he can believe her because bunnies “are good at multiplying.” It’s both a simple math joke and a pretty sly way of bunny flirtation. Nice, writers. Nice.
8. Bambi: Stiff as a Board
Flower the skunk takes a very specific shape when love strikes.
7. Kungu Fu Panda 3: My Dumplings!
Po is attempting to reconnect with his panda heritage, but one little guy can’t stop questioning everything about Mr. Ping, Po’s adoptive father. Eventually, he points right towards Ping’s crotch area. Fortunately, he was just asking about the dumplings.
6. Tarzan: Alone Time
Jane is drawing Tarzan and begins to comment on his intense eyes. Her dad can sense her mood changing, and nails what appears to be the first masturbation joke in Disney movie history.
5. Cinderella: The Need for Beads
Perhaps one of the best visual gags in any movie, Jaq and Gus are nobly trying to recover the pieces of Cinderella’s destroyed necklace, but end up looking like they are into some surprisingly kinky shit.
4. A Bug’s Life: Pollination Nation
A couple of drunken flies try to see some entertainment at P.T. Flea’s Circus and one of them ends up hitting on Francis the ladybug with the most disturbing pickup line of all time.
3. Brave Little Toaster: “Suck Me to Death”
At least Air Conditioner will die doing what he loved.
2. Toy Story 3: Don’t Take My Wife, Please
When an irritated Lotso plucks the lips off. his wife, Mr. Potato head responds with “Hey, no one takes my wife’s mouth but me.” It’s both touching and super creepy.
1. The Rugrats Movie: Slice of Life
Easily the most disturbing circumcision joke ever worked into a kid’s movie.