Frank Costanza is an incredible father. Sure, he’s prone to fits of rage and he raised a neurotic, self-centered asshole who celebrates his fiancé dying from licking envelopes. But he also gave George many gifts. Not many men can claim to have invented a holiday now celebrated around the world. Fathers create tradition and Frank should get through the first few rounds of this bracket on Festivus alone. Based on writer Dan O’Keefe’s real Father’s real invented tradition this is the kind of fatherhood flex that’s hard to ignore.
Who in the bracket is going to best Frank in the feats of strength? Who is better at airing grievances? You want a piece of him? YOU WANT A PIECE OF HIM? Frank gave George a good home, a good life, and his own holiday. Sure, George might not think of himself as a man, but he definitely knows all the cup sizes.
And who’s going to tell Frank Costanza he lost in this bracket? It’s not going to be me. Put those bananas on the side and vote him on to the next round. SERENITY NOW!
Eliminated: First Round