As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are nine of the best dad tweets from this week.
In Case of Emergency
3-year-old: *puts on her bike helmet*
Me: We're going to the grocery store.
3: What if there's a bike?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 29, 2018
Wet and Wild
I took my kids to the pool today because it seemed like a good day to get splashed in the face 347 times.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) May 29, 2018
It’s the first day of summer break and my kids are on #72 of the 75 fun summer activities we had planned.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 29, 2018
Made Your Bed
Me: You've made your bed, now lie in it.
Child: I didn’t make my bed. Why would I make my bed?
Me: It’s a saying.
Child: A saying about making a bed? You said I’m going to lie in it so why would I make it?
Me: I need to stop using sayings from when kids were good people.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) May 29, 2018
4: Wake up! Let's go!
Me: It's not even 7:00. Why should I get up?
4: I love you.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) May 27, 2018
Evolution of Dad
Before kids: I could have probably aged into a silver fox.
After kids: I'm aging into a silver sloth.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 30, 2018
Me: Hey, isn’t your computer time up?
8yo: Yeah, but I watched mommy put in her username and password last time, so now when my time is up, I just enter those and keep playing.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 30, 2018
A Fresh Perspective
The sooner parents realize their kid’s closet and dresser are basically wearable napkin dispensers, the sooner they’ll start living in reality.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) May 29, 2018
Learning Something New
My toddler came up to me and said “I like pooping, you like peeing and mommy likes treasure chests.” and then looked at me like I was an idiot for not knowing that.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 28, 2018