As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.
Cake It Til You Make It
Kids: Can we have cake for breakfast?
Wife: Absolutely not.
Kids: Then why is he eating cake for breakfast?
Me [mouth full of cake]: BECUFF IM AN ADULTF
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) February 19, 2018
Go For Gold
You Can’t Handle The Tooth
The substitute tooth fairy left too much money and now the regular tooth fairy is mad because I doubled our expenses and we have a lot of teeth left to go.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 20, 2018
Why Would God Allow This?
It could be worse, you could be watching the Emoji movie with me and my daughter right now.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 18, 2018
Me: Can you get a plate? You're getting crumbs everywhere
8yo: *Continues eating Pop Tart without breaking eye contact
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 20, 2018
Haters Gonna Hate
Got to our hotel room and it took the kids less than five minutes to make sure that everyone on the floor despises us.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 22, 2018
By The Book
Reading parenting books prior to having kids is like earning a degree prior to getting a job.
It's good to know the info, but you quickly learn that nothing compares to real life experience.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 20, 2018
What Really Counts
Even if my two year old never actually learns how to count, the way he's able to fake it so convincingly tells me he going to go far in life.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 20, 2018
What The Truck?
A FedEx truck AND a UPS truck got stuck behind a trash truck on our street and my son has never been more pumped about anything.
— Soren Bowie (@Soren_Ltd) February 20, 2018
Don’t Get Khaki
7YR OLD: why are clouds white, dad?
ME: it's because they wear khakis to work.
7: isn't it because they scatter all color wavelengths?
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) February 19, 2018