As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing from other people who can empathize about or articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps you understand that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.
Loud and Proud
If only the objective of parenting was to raise really louds kids, I would be killing it.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 3, 2018
Top reasons my 2-year-old walks over to see me:
3) She loves me.
2) She thinks I'm fun to be around.
1) She just pooped.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2018
At the end of the day we all want our children to be happy and healthy… and to go to bed early so we can eat junk food and watch grown-up shows in peace.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) January 4, 2018
Me: my kids don’t go back to school until January 8th.
911 Operator: Oh God.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 3, 2018
My son wanted to know what it was like being a single dad so I took away his favorite toy and told him he could only play with it on the weekends and holidays of my choosing
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) January 4, 2018
About A Toy
You can always tell if a toy was designed by someone who doesn't have kids.
No off switch? No kids.
Only one super loud volume setting? No kids.
As fragile as a Ming vase? No kids.#parenting
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) January 2, 2018
Dad to the Bone
Whichever dad has the best step ladders in the neighborhood gets to ride his lawnmower shirtless on the weekends.
— The Pale Space Rider (@truegritrumble) January 5, 2018
I wish someone would invent a way to make french fries that you find under your kids' car seats delicious again.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 4, 2018
Wake Up and Smell the Bourbon
Wife: ARE YOU DRINKING AT 8 AM?!
Me: Because of the blizzard we are stuck in the house with four kids.
Wife: Make mine a double.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 4, 2018
In a fantastic turn of events, the too many pirate shows my kid watches have prompted him to discard the word "yes," for the phrase "aye aye!"
— dadpression (@Dadpression) January 3, 2018