Not content to mine your childhood for new programming, Netflix is coming after your adolescence, too. The online video streamer is reportedly set to serve up 13 new episodes of Full House — you read that right. This isn’t a reboot; Fuller House (get it?) will pick up with the same characters of the original show, 20 years later. The focus will be an all grows up D.J. Tanner and her friend Kimmy Gibbler — don’t worry, though; Danny Taner and Uncle Jesse will also appear. Actually, no. Do worry.
Since nostalgia-as-a-programming strategy shows no signs of abating, why stop with Full House? Here are 5 more classics from the 80s and 90s, awkwardly updated for the present day.
Last Episode: May 20, 1993
It’s been 20 years since Sam Malone sold the bar, and every thing about the place has changed at least 5 times — except for Norm. He’s been sitting at the same stool the whole time, even when it was a nightclub frequented by Russian mobsters. Now, it’s a craft beer bar and gastropub run by hipster snobs who greet him with a trademark “Norm!”, but they do it ironically. “Hey, my buddy Cliff Clavin called,” Norm tells the bartender in the first episode, “and he wants that mustache back. What’s an IPA?”
Married … with Children
Last Episode: June 9, 1997
Kelly Bundy, who grew from a clueless teenager into a clueless suburban mom, becomes a Tea Party darling after Fox News finds her standing outside of Chicago City Hall asking strangers to explain the taxes on her paycheck. “Why am I paying these?” she asks the reporter. “Seriously, who is Fica?” The interview goes viral and she soon finds herself leading the race for Governor of Illinois. “The governor’s mansion is not for sale!” she declares from the campaign trail. “I have to live there. If I sold it, where would I stay?”
Last Episode: May 21, 1992
Now in his 60s, Angus MacGyver is still trying to save the day, but he needs an assistant because he replaced the Swiss Army knife with a Leatherman that throws out his back if he carries it for too long. “The Kid,” as MacGyver calls him, is a source of constant annoyance; every time MacGyver sets to work devising an ingenious solution to a complicated situation, The Kid just Googles the answer on his phone. “You used to have to know stuff to be a hero,” MacGyver sneers (in pretty much every episode). “It used to mean something.”
Last Episode: May 14, 1989
Alex P. Keaton was on top of the world until the financial crisis of 2008 brought down the banking empire he ran. An impassioned performance in front of a congressional committee investigating shady lending (“Without rich people like us, how will Reaganomics continue to succeed?” he asked the chairman) leads to an influx of investor cash, which he spins into a hedge fund focused on green technologies. “Hey,” he reminds an underling who questions his commitment to the environment, “my only true allegiance is to capitalism.”
Last Episode: May 22, 1995
The precocious pre-teen has blossomed (sorry) into a successful adult, with a PhD in neuroscience, starring roles on TV shows, a vegan cookbook and regular columns on websites where she voices her suspicions about vaccines. Oh, wait …