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20 (Clean) St. Patrick’s Day Jokes for Kids

Leaping leprechauns, these jokes are hilarious!

Julia Barnes for Fatherly

St. Patrick’s Day is always a fun holiday for kids. They get to search for the mythical leprechauns, color in rainbows and dream about finding pots of gold at the end of them. This holiday is already magical, but you have an opportunity to teach your kids about its more mischievous origins. It’s what the leprechauns would want you to do.

They are troublemakers, much like your kids are, after all. In the spirit of the leprechauns, we’ve rounded up 20 family-friendly and clean St. Patrick’s Day jokes that are bound to make your kids laugh over the cheesy wordplay and many references of the color green. Just be sure to tell them the consequences of not wearing green on March 17. So that morning your children will be lying in wait—ready to pinch you if you don’t abide by the one rule of St. Patrick’s Day.

20. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?

A Jolly Green Giant.

19. How can you tell an Irishman is having a good time?

He’s Dublin over with laughter!

Fatherly IQ
  1. Do you think that yelling is necessary when dealing with little kids?
    Yes. It’s often the only thing that works
    Sometimes. I don’t yell often, but it has its time and place
    No. It’s not healthy
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18. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

Because real rocks are too heavy.

17. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

Because he could not afford plane fare.

16. What kind of spells do leprechaun witches cast?

Lucky Charms!

15. Why is St. Patrick’s Day frogs’ favorite holiday? 

They’re already wearing green.

14. Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?

They’re really into green living.

13. What happens if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?

You get a rash of good luck!

12. What did the leprechaun referee say when the soccer match ended?

Game clover.

11. What kind of bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow!

10. What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?

Grape Britain!

9. Why do leprechauns hate running?

They’d rather jig than jog!

8. Where can you always find gold on St. Patty’s Day?

In the dictionary.

7. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

6. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?

He gets wet, of course.

5. What do you call a big Irish spider?

Paddy long legs!

4. Who was St. Patrick’s favorite superhero?

Green Lantern.

3. Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?

You don’t want to press your luck.

2. How did the Irish Jig get started?

Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms!

1. Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?

They have green thumbs!