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20 (Clean) St. Patrick’s Day Jokes for Kids

Here are some clean, green, and hilarious jokes for your young ones.

Julia Barnes for Fatherly

St. Patrick’s Day is always a bonkers insane holiday for kids, full of weird jokes. It’s not a normal day. But, as everyone experiences a huge shift in the definition of “normal,” there’s no reason you have to cancel St. Patrick’s Day for your family.

In fact, you don’t need to even run out to the store and hoard green-colored food dye to get into the spirit. Because leprechauns are mostly invisible, we can talk about them and joke about them endlessly, all without having to lift a finger. This is what the leprechauns would want you to do. Tell jokes. But, what are the best St. Patrick’s Day jokes for kids?

In the spirit of the leprechauns — and not going completely insane — we’ve rounded up 20 family-friendly and clean St. Patrick’s Day jokes that are bound to make your kids laugh. Get ready to pinch your kids and deal out some groan-worthy St. Patrick’s Day jokes. Here’s the best (and worst) we could come up with.

20. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?

A Jolly Green Giant.

19. How can you tell an Irishman is having a good time?

He’s Dublin over with laughter!

18. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

Because real rocks are too heavy.

17. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

Because he could not afford plane fare.

16. What kind of spells do leprechaun witches cast?

Lucky Charms!

15. Why is St. Patrick’s Day frogs’ favorite holiday? 

They’re already wearing green.

14. Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?

They’re really into green living.

13. What happens if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?

You get a rash of good luck!

12. What did the leprechaun referee say when the soccer match ended?

Game clover.

11. What kind of bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow!

10. What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?

Grape Britain!

9. Why do leprechauns hate running?

They’d rather jig than jog!

8. Where can you always find gold on St. Patty’s Day?

In the dictionary.

7. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

6. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?

He gets wet, of course.

5. What do you call a big Irish spider?

Paddy long legs!

4. Who was St. Patrick’s favorite superhero?

Green Lantern.

3. Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?

You don’t want to press your luck.

2. How did the Irish Jig get started?

Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms!

1. Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?

They have green thumbs!