Nothing in your day-to-day could ever match the adrenalin rush of, say, the Fast and Furious movies … Until you have a kid. Then you discover how exciting real life can be as you drift your whip through the neighborhood trying to get home before your kid drops a deuce in their pants. Luckily, you’ve also got a high-powered Diesel.
Because kids can make your life as epic as an action film, maybe you should give them a name befitting all the excitement they’re about to give you. Check out these names inspired by some of the most awesome kid characters to ever hit the screen. From pod racers and bully beaters to tornado riders and sharpshooters, these kid names will give yours that certain cinema glow.
Names for Boys
For: Bastian Bux from Neverending Story
Why: When Bastian gets into a book, he really gets into it. As he hides out with his special tome (that he basically shoplifted, BTW) he becomes crucial to the epic never-ending story unfolding as he reads. And in the end he gets to ride a luckdragon, which is just Falkor-ing awesome.
For: Gordie Lachance from Stand By Me
Why: You’ve gotta have some cajones to take off with your pals and search for a dead body in the woods. And you have those kind of cajones, you want to make sure your protect them when Chopper the dog is told to sick balls. Which is also something the founder of Nerf hears, like, everyday.
For: Ralphie Parker from A Christmas Story
Why: All this kid wants in life is a Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle. And despite every adults’ insistence that it’s unsafe, his dogged persistence (and his awesome dad) awards him his dream. Bonus for a kid named Ralphie: You get to tell him he’ll shoot his eye out, in any circumstance, and it will probably be hilarious. At least to you.
For: Cole Sear from Sixth Sense
Why: This kid who sees dead people is creepy AF, but his story is incredibly compelling. It’ll lead you all the way to the shocking twist where you find out that Bruce Willis has been dead the entire time. And, no, you don’t deserve a spoiler alert on that one because the movie is like a billion years old.
For: Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Why: He becomes Darth Vader. And yeah, that might be a little on the dark side for a baby. But, whatevs.
Names For Girls
For: Ofelia / Princess Moanna from Pan’s Labyrinth
Why: She takes on monsters that would make even the biggest dude poop his pants. Seriously, if you were confronted by a guy who has eyes on the palms of his hands you’d freak, right? Awesome name for a little girl whose performance will never be Pan-ed
For: Dorothy Gale from The Wizard Of Oz
Why: She’s the OG quest mistress who takes her fight to return home all the way to the Emerald City. Not only is Dorothy a badass witch-fighter who is unafraid of anything, she also has a killer singing voice. With this name, your little Dorothy is sure to get all the “Oooooos” and Oz.
For: Akeelah Anderson from Akeelah And The Bee
Why: This little girl from South Los Angeles will beat your ass in Scrabble. She can spell better than you can ever hope to and has a slightly insolent attitude. Akeelah is a beat-all-the-odds and make-you-cry-happy-tears type. And hers’ is the perfect name if you want your girl to Bee good.
For: Wednesday Addams from The Addams Family
Why: This (possibly, literally) killer moniker belongs to one of the best little girl characters to ever hit the screen. She’s her own spooky person with a malevolent side that keeps people at bay. She digs decapitating dolls and burying live animals. But beware, a little Wednesday might grow up to be a serial killer. And you’d never know because they “look just like everyone else.”
For: Mathilde from The Professional
Why: There is something incredibly awesome about watching a teeny Natalie Portman wield a massive sniper rifle. And yeah, your little Mathilde probably won’t ever get training from professional hitman, but her name is sure to be a hit, man.