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All The News That's Fit To Parent

Everything You Need To Know This Week If You’re A Parent

This week in parenting you learned that America needs you to take a vacation (not that your spouse wouldn’t appreciate it too). You were given good reason to give up on your kid’s competitive trampolining career, but there’s plenty of hope for their balance biking one—which they can start tomorrow as long as they’re 2 or older. There was some unfortunate fashion news about your all too functional cargo shorts. But if your spouse really thinks they look that stupid, go ahead and show her what stupid is all about with the LEGO treadmill challenge. Hopefully, you’re learning all this while eating a large pizza, otherwise you’re getting hustled in 30 minutes or less. All this and more, because the paper got ripped up by junior days ago.

Guess How Many Fewer Vacation Days Americans Use Today Compared To 15 Years Ago
Before you decide to opt out of a trip to Disney World this year, consider this: Americans have given up a week of paid vacation time voluntarily since the 1970s (so that’s what your problem is). If you won’t get away for your own heath and well being, at the very least do it for the economy, and the economy loves it when you leave the kid with their grandparents. Read more…

Please Put The Spike In Toddlers Accidentally Eating Marijuana In Perspective
Whether or not you live in a state with legal weed (or even partake on occasion), you definitely don’t want your toddler accidentally (or purposefully) eating it. That’s why a Colorado study saying more toddlers are being sent to the hospital for this reason is cause for concern, but nothing to freak out about, man. Read more…

A Scientific Explanation Of Why Your Wife’s Food Cravings Are More Serious Than Yours
Your spouses cravings may have calmed down compared to when she was pregnant, but there’s a substantial amount of evidence that she’s hormonally predisposed to having serious cravings forever. If that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, then she can have the last ice cream sandwich. Read more…

There’s A Balance Bike World Championship And The U.S. Isn’t The Nation To Beat
Training wheels are a thing of the past, and balance bikes are the way of the future, but not they’re a way to tap into your youngsters adorable competitive side. The Strider Cup World Championship is going 6 years strong and just waiting for junior to knock Japan off it’s high horse—or rather, balance bike. Read more…

Here’s Exactly How Much Space You Can Rent For $1,500 In 30 U.S. Cities
Owning a home is stressful and expensive, but this infographic of exactly how much space you can get for $1,500 will make you happy to put up with trouble. For what you can get in the 30 most popular cities, the rent is still too damn high. Read more…

father scolding his son
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Why You Should Never Order Your Family A Small Pizza
Pizza has always been a deliciously underrated way to teach your kid about fractions, but with the Pizza Equation you might learn something too—mostly that your spouse is always wrong for suggesting a small pie, and you should’ve paid more attention in high school geometry. Read more…

Do You Live In The State With The Best Or Worst School System Of 2016?
It doesn’t take much more than waiting waiting in the drop off line for you to refer to your kid’s school as “the worst.” But with back-to-school season around the corner, you might want to see how your state actually stacks up (so you can complain more accurately). Read more…

The Downside To All Those Cool Trampoline Parks Popping Up Everywhere
The trampoline parks business is booming with over a 1,000 percent increase in recreational facilities for just trampolines in the past 4 years. But the spike in parks has inevitably resulted in a spike in injuries, even among parents. The hospital is quite literally a hop, skip, and jump away. Read more…

The Fashion Backlash To Cargo Shorts Has Reached An All-Time High
If there’s anything harder than being a dad, it’s being a dad in cargo shorts. The practical fashion, started by the military and popularized by the opposite of the military (Abercrombie & Fitch) is the Rodney Dangerfield of clothing: They don’t get no respect. Read more…

When To Consider Freezing Your Sperm To Avoid Infecting Your Partner With Zika
Today, news broke that there are potentially 46 cases of Zika in Illinois, which means that it’s officially your problem. Up until now, fertility experts have been recommending that men traveling to Zika areas should freeze their sperm if they’re trying to get pregnant when they get back. But now it may be an option for that Chicago business trip too. Read more…

This Crazy Infographic Breaks Down The 50 Most Common Family Types In The U.S.
When it comes to families, experts have suspected that the nuclear option has been on the decline for years. Yet Flowing Data’s recent infographic, based off numbers from 2014 suggests that the traditional family is making a comeback, but in a slightly less traditional way. Read more…

Impress Your Kid And Hurt Your Feet With The LEGO Treadmill Challenge
There are plenty of things you can do with all those spare LEGOs around the house, but few will make use of your dusty treadmills is such an amusing way. Hopefully this isn’t the only exercise you got this week, because your feet will be too messed up to do anything after. Read more…

Your State Just Received Its Report Card On How Much It Helps New Parents
It’s been a while since you received a report card for anyone other than your kid, and this one has almost as much to do with them. Depending on where you live, your state may need some extra tutoring when it comes to paid family leave policies. Read more…

Don’t Worry So Much About Finances Because It’s Not Good For Your Face
If you feel like you’re aging rapidly, the bad news is that you are. The good news is that it’s not totally your kid’s fault, except for when they cost you money. A new study shows exactly how much more financial stress ages you compared to other types of stress. Read more…