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All The News That's Fit To Parent

Everything You Need To Know This Week About Being A Parent

This week in parenting you were reminded that morning wood is not just a part of life; it’s a very awkward one you might have to talk about with your son one day. But if you can get through that, it will prepare you for an equally weird and necessary discussion about the big difference between porn and real life. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine released their first official sleep recommendations, in case you wanted something to fight other parents about. But be careful not to get so angry that you start reading bedtime stories like Henry Rollins, because your kid won’t be able to sleep at all after that. Finally, you found out that parenting in the U.S. makes people more unhappy than in any other developed country, but obviously more money would make a difference. After all, parents can use all the help they can get, especially if that help is cash.

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12 Crazy Facts About Morning Wood, Because Your Son Will Ask Eventually
One day you might have to share with your son the hard truth about sleep boners, so you might as well have a few laughs studying up now. In the meantime, these fun facts will help your spouse understand a little more about how you get up in the morning. Read more…

This Is How Many Hours A Night Your Kid Should Sleep According To The Experts
Sleep is one of the most tumultuous topics for parents to discuss, but at least The American Academy of Sleep is stepping in with some official recommendations. Read more…

The Surprising Role Sons Play In How Long A Marriage Lasts
Census data shows that marriages have a greater chance of lasting if they have a son, but that doesn’t mean your doomed. It also doesn’t mean you should tell your wife or daughter about it either. Definitely don’t do that.  Read more…

It Turns Out, Money Has More To Do With Happiness Than You Probably Want To Admit
They say that money can’t buy happiness, but a new study suggests that’s something we say to make poor people feel better. The more you make, the happier you are, and it may indirectly help with your sex life on top of that. Read more…

If You Haven’t Seen Henry Rollins Do ‘Oh, The Places You’ll Go’ You Better Bring Earmuffs
This angry rocker’s rendition of the Seuss classic is as amusing as it is unflattering. If anything, it will show you exactly how not to tell a story to children. Read more…

If You Don’t Know What #DadBooks Is, Here Are 15 Examples Of What You’re Missing
If the literature your reading is lacking in dad wisdom, this h#DadBooks will make you wish that this was it’s own genre and not just a hashtag. Read more…

Why The U.S. Happiness Gap Might Kind Of Sort Of Be Your Fault
The happiness gap between parents and non parents is the largest in the U.S. than it is any other industrialized country. Hopefully there’s at least one parent out there competitive enough to appreciate being number one at being miserable. USA! USA! USA! Read more…

Tech Geniuses Say Adaptive Learning Software Won’t Replace Your Kid’s Teacher Anytime Soon
The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation conducted the largest study of it’s kind on one of the most controversial innovations in education — adaptive learning software. Unfortunately they found that it makes very little difference beyond upsetting tech fearing parents. Read more…

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The World’s Largest Nerf Gun Is Exactly As Awesome As It Sounds
Move over snowball and cheeseball guns, because there’s a new sheriff in town. And he’s gonna shoot you with a dart made out of toilet plungers and pool noodles. Read more…

Your Kid Will See Porn, But That’s Not What You Should Be Worried About
If you weren’t destined to catch your kid with porn one day, than you probably would’ve gone blind by now from looking at it yourself (no judgement). Instead of worrying about that, consider concerning yourself with explaining that’s not what real sex is like. Read more…

Why Everything You Thought You Knew About Pink And Blue Is Wrong
If pink and blue were the colors of a sports team, that team would be new parents. But historical evidence shows that they’re playing the game wrong, and pink was once a lot more masculine than it used to be. Read more…