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Yes, Disney Princesses Can Kick Ass in Ballgowns

Fantasy author Melissa Caruso unleashes an epic Twitter rant with Disney GIFs to prove it.

Disney

When Wonder Woman stashed her sword down the back of her gown in last year’s movie, it inspired fans the world over to do the same (at least in their Instagram pics). Now the whole sword-down-the-dress meme has sparked an actual debate ⏤ is sword-fighting in a party dress even possible? While some argue that kicking ass in a tight maxi or flowing ballgown would be tough, fantasy author Melissa Caruso says it’s absolutely 100% doable, and she launched an epic Twitter rant complete with boundless Disney princess GIFs to make her case.

According to Caruso, Mulan practically fought off a horde of ancient Chinese warlords in a crowded downtown square while rocking a hanfu, which has all the calling cards of a dress. To boot, in the first half hour of The Avengers, Black Widow (not a princess, but for sure a Disney movie) takes out at least four Russian gangsters in a cocktail dress, and she was barefoot and tied to a chair first! While both of these moments are decidedly badass, none of the dresses in question fit Caruso’s criteria for dress-fighting quite right. The first thing she does is acknowledge that when it comes to fighting, not all dresses are created equal.

Take her word for it, she’s an expert after all!

According to Caruso, while they look a little clumsy in a sword fight, high-volume puffy dresses are a pretty choice. They can stop light strikes, keep the opponent at a manageable distance, and improve footwork. Nonetheless, there are still a few drawbacks.

Caruso lays down some good practices for skirts, but apparently, those aren’t the big issue when it comes to dueling. The biggest impediment for Disney princesses in this sense is the sleeves. For Caruso, being able to lift the arms above the shoulders is crucial.

This is a real hurdle, what’s the solution here? Steer into the skid. Forget the sleeves, damn them to hell.

Along with high-volume skirts, corsets are another surprising addition to Caruso’s list of things okay to fight in. As long as the person wearing one never falls over.

Corsets are cool, but purses and cloaks —especially cloaks, even though they’re super frickin’ cool looking—are out of the question entirely.

Bottom line, fighting in a dress in a lot of ways can be superior to fighting while clad in almost anything else. Despite the detail of her presentation, Caruso was still pretty shocked that Twitter users took such an interest in her rant.