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Everything You Need To Know This Week About Being A Parent

Barney Bishop

This week in parenting you learned exactly how much millennials love technology, and since they’re starting to have kids it explains the onslaught of viral video pregnancy announcements online. You received good news that your cluttered collection of books should not only stick around — it might make your kids more money down the road. Unfortunately, you might want to get rid of your LEGOs instead, or at least be more aware of the arms race they’re implicated in. Finally, you found out that their might be a national baby shortage that you didn’t realize you helped with by having that kid. Your prize is yet another excuse to have more sex: do it for the economy. All this news you missed and more, because you were too busy crushing it as a dad.

Viral Video Pregnancy Announcements Are Apparently A Huge Deal Now
If they don’t make your skin immediately start crawling while watching, video pregnancy announcements might be for you. This elaborate trend of making your big news everyone’s big news is not for everyone, but there’s no need to hate on how another man celebrates his swimmers either. Read more…

Your Innocent Little LEGOs Are Not What They Used To Be Back In Your Day
There’s always a fine line between toys and weapons, especially if your kid is tired enough while playing with them. New analysis of LEGO bricks shows that these toys have been gradually making the transition towards weaponry over the years, but it’s probably better than playing Call Of DutyRead more… 

Ready Or Not, It’s About To Be The Worst Possible Time Of Year For Road Rage
You know it, you’ve had it, but now that you’re a parent road rage hardly seems worth it with your kid in the car. But analysis of Instagram posts with the hashtag #RoadRage reveals the peak times, months, and locations for flipping the bird to social media users, no matter who’s in the backseat. Read more… 

The More Books You Have In Your Home, The More Money Your Kid Could Make
If you’ve already converted over to a tablet reader, don’t panic. This study is based on data from long before kids had that option. But if you’re still into good old fashioned paperbacks and hardcovers, this research will give you fiscal cause to hang on to them. Read more…

Proof That Getting Old Will Seriously Affect How You Deal With Technology
As much as you shake your fist in the air about “the youths,” you’d be lost without them when dealing with your stupid smartphone. A recent survey of millennials and baby boomers shows that while young people’s technological priorities are different, it doesn’t make them necessarily better than yours. Read more…

A Modest Proposal For Solving The National Baby Shortage
The U.S. birth rate has been declining since 2007 (despite you and your spouse’s efforts), which presents potential incentives and drawbacks for the economy. Though economists and demographers are conflicted about if this is a good or bad thing, you might as well have more sex just in case. Read more…

You And Your Spouse Have An Arguing ‘Style’ And It Might Be Seriously Impacting Your Health
They say all is fair in love and war, except that you might develop some health problems during the war part. New research shows that exploding or shutting down in arguments could mean the difference between a stiff neck and cardiovascular disease. Read more… 

This Chart Explains Exactly What Kind Of Doctor Your Kid Should Grow Up To Be
You can’t control what your kid is going to be when they grow up, but that definitely wont stop you from trying. So if your kid is not that into STEM, then the classic fallback is doctor, and this ranking of salaries may tell you just what kind. Read more…