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This Dad Hilariously Thought His Wife’s Sexts Were About Making Pork Chops for Dinner

Not exactly what he had in mind.

Dustin Sims Comedy/Facebook

An Alabama dad mistook his wife’s sexts for texts about dinner in a viral Facebook video posted on October 10. The clip shows Dustin Sims, comedian and father of two, describing how his wife said she wanted to “try something a little different tonight,” which he thought meant cook something besides pork chops for dinner.

Using a voice-changing face filter, Sims explains how he had been talking to his wife on the phone during his lunch break when she said she was making pork for supper. Then, “not even 10 minutes later,” he gets the text, which of course he thought was referring to their discussion about food. So he said she could have whatever she wanted, “as long as you have it ready for me when I get there.”

When she responded with an enthusiastic “Yes, Daddy,” Sims thought “Jesus Christ, she’s really hungry,” and decided to surprise his wife by picking up the kids and coming home early. But it turns out it was him who was in for the surprise.

Well, now my kids need counseling ????‍♂️⚠️CRUDE LANGUAGE⚠️SC: dsimz09 IG: @_dustinsims

Posted by Dustin Sims Comedy on Wednesday, October 10, 2018

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“Why are you naked?! Where are your clothes?!” Both questions Sims asked when he opened the door expecting to find dinner, but instead found his wife “ready” as she had promised. And the kids saw it all, too, including the pickled relish which viewers are still questioning the purpose of.

The video has over 9,200 shares and 304,000 views, with Sims’ loyal fans sharing their own hilarious encounters (and plenty of crying laughing emojis). One user sums up a lot of the responses with a simple, “Apparently guys aren’t good at reading signs.”

Sims ends the clip with his own advice: “Ladies, don’t text your man subliminal messages. If you want the D, just say you want the D.”