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The 10 Most Hilarious Burns Against “Bean Dad”

The first viral moment of 2021 is about a dad forcing his 9 year-old daughter to open her own can of beans. Yeah.

In case you were offline yesterday, enjoying the last few hours of vacation before coming back to work in the morning hours of January 4, you might have missed the first big “viral” moment on the internet of 2021.

Frankly, you might be glad you did. In the late evening hours of January 2nd, only in the wee hours of the new year, John Roderick (co-host of the Omnibus podcast with Ken Jennings, occasional song-writer, etc) posted a tweet about being a good dad that turned him into what the internet now calls “Bean Dad.”

The now-viral tweet series says: “Yesterday my daughter (9) was hungry and I was doing a jigsaw puzzle so I said over my shoulder “make some baked beans.” She said, “How?” like all kids do when they want YOU to do it, so I said, “Open a can and put it in [sic] pot.” She brought me the can and said “Open it how?”

He then realized she didn’t know how to use a can-opener — and instead of simply showing her how to open it and then letting her cook the beans on the stove herself, he decided to teach her the hard and hungry way: by forcing her to figure out how to use a can opener herself. 

In one tweet, he said, “The little device is designed to do one thing: open cans. Study the parts, study the can, figure out what the can-opener inventor was thinking when they tried to solve this problem… I went back to my jigsaw puzzle. She was next to me grunting and groaning trying to get the thing [open].”

He then goes on to insult her, for some reason? “I should say that spatial orientation, process visualization and order of operation are not things she… intuits.” Uh, Bean Dad? She’s a kid. A nine-year-old child. Teach her how to open the can of beans and she’ll never ask you for anything again. 

At some point in the tweet thread, which was very, very long, he noted that it had taken his daughter SIX HOURS (emphasis mine) to figure out how to open the can of beans. His poor, nine-year-old daughter, who was surely extremely hungry by this point, figured out how to open the can, to be sure, but in the process went hungry for six hours without even a snack from dad in the meantime.

Roderick shared the viral tweet thread most likely thinking that he was doing so as a good and accomplished parent. The internet, however, had… other ideas. They dug up some old, extremely offensive, racist, and anti-semitic tweets he had posted in the past and made fun of him for being a bad dad. Roderick deleted his Twitter in response. A popular podcast, My Brother, My Brother And Me announced they would no longer use his song as their intro to their show. People are now concerned about Ken Jennings losing his presumed-ascension to the Jeopardy! throne due to the meltdown of Roderick. Tweets dunking on the dad abounded on the website for days and we’ve rounded up the 10 best reactions to the Great Bean Debacle of 2021. But this is only the tip of the iceberg, of course.

This Dad Took Notes

This Self-Indulgent Take 

This Ambitious BUSH’s Beans, WW84, Bean Dad Cross-Over

Dionne Warwick Doesn’t Have Thoughts

Will Bean Dad Ever Live This Down?

Bean Dad’s Got Some Cans To Deal With

A Meditation On How Things Spiral Out of Control

This Guy Doesn’t Know What’s Going On

We’re Focused On What’s Really Important 

The Curse of Knowledge

Listen, at the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with teaching your kid self-sufficiency. But teaching requires teaching — not just giving them a sharp tool and telling them to figure it out themselves. After an hour of struggle, he could have shown his presumably very hungry daughter how to open the can of beans and trusted her to cook them on the stove herself. She’s not a toddler, after all. But letting a kid go hungry to prove a point is not a good look for many reasons. And although the dunking on the internet is thorough, everyone will move on eventually, and hopefully, Roderick will have learned an important lesson: feeding your kid is more important than teaching them a lesson (especially if it’s hard to tell what the lesson really was about in the first place).