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Man Protests High School Mascot That Sounds Too Much Like “Penis”

"I have no interest in my daughter or my son playing sports and getting referred to as something like a penis."

A high school in Utah that will open next year is facing criticism from one dad who believes the mascot’s name sounds too much like the word “penis.” He’s not wrong, but he is being ridiculous.

The soon-to-be Farmington High School asked for kids from the area to vote for their favorite Mascot. The choice came down to Farmers, Eagles, Firebirds, Silverback, Fox, Silverfox, and the Phoenix. The clear winner was the Phoenix but Kyle Fraughton, a dad whose kids will likely attend Farmington High someday, objected because the proper plural of the team name (Phoenices) is too similar to the proper plural term for male genitalia.

Fraughton’s stance may sound incredibly silly (editorial note:  it is) but he could not be more serious about his fear of his kids being on the receiving end of penis-related insults because of the odd rules of pluralization. “I looked on Google and a couple hits down I saw that the plural of Phoenix was either phoenixes or Phoenices,” Fraughton explained to the Salt Lake Tribune. “I have no interest in my daughter or my son playing sports and getting referred to as something like a penis.”

Sufficed to say, Fraughton’s pretty rigid in his stance, even going so far as to create a petition on where he pleads his fellow Farmingtonians to take action to prevent their town from becoming the target of endless dick jokes. The petition has already managed to get over 3,000 signatures. Chances are a few of those signatures are coming from “Harry Johnson”, “Mike Rotch”, and “Dick Hunter.”

As of now, the school district has insisted that they have no plans to change the name despite Fraughton’s aggressive and vocal campaign against the mighty Phoenix.