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Trump Fails at Basic Trick or Treating Rules: Puts Candy On Kid’s Head

Halloween fail at the White House. Did Trump have a childhood on planet Earth?

White House via TIME

In addition to maybe getting impeached and not really understanding how to talk about your own son, President Trump apparently has no idea how Trick or Treating works. At the White House, one trick or treater approached Trump for candy, and, admittedly, did receive candy. Just not where you normally put candy. Trump put a candy bar on a kid’s head. Really. Is there an explanation?

On Tuesday, a video from Sky News began circulating which clearly shows President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump handing-out candy to trick or treaters at the White House. When a kid dressed as Minion hits up Trump for candy, the President puts a candy bar on the kid’s head. Now, the kid is clearly holding an orange bag for candy, but Trump chose the head. There are two explanations for what happened here.

Explanation 1: The President didn’t see the orange bag and panicked. During this moment of panic, he deduced that if children can’t have candy in their bags or hands, they probably want it in their mouths Failing to see a mouth he recognized, Trump settled on the top of the kid’s head, and thought, “close enough.”

Explanation 2: Trump is actually from an alien world. From his perspective, this is how the ritual of Trick or Treating works. Trump’s planet of origin is a place called Shembleck Quarto IV, orbiting the third moon of Vratex, and there, this is simply how you hand out candy. Trump, not actually being a human himself, momentarily forgot he wasn’t among his fellow Shembleckians, and as such, performed his native (and extraterrestrial) Halloween ritual. I know this theory sounds wacky, but because First Lady Melania Trump also put the candy bar on the head of the trick or treater, might also be an alien inside of a human suit.

You can watch the video for yourself below and decide.

If the President and the First Lady are actually visitors from another world (or other non-human entities), this is a good opportunity to teach them proper human parenting etiquette when it comes to Trick or Treating. On this planet, in this Solar System, we put candy bars in the bags or pumpkin baskets or, sometimes, pillowcases being held by children in various costumes. There. That’s settled.

In fairness, remembering candy does not go on the top of a child’s head is a good reminder for all of us, but especially helpful for those among us who might really be lizards, alien visitors, or a colony of mice dressed-up in a complicated suit, complete with a system of pulleys, wires and very impressive ventriloquism.

For those reading this article on October 30, fair warning: Children may come to your door tomorrow and say “trick or treat.” Resist the urge to put candy on their heads! I know it’s hard for some of us, but we can do this.