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Trump’s Suggested COVID-19 Treatments Will Kill Your Family

Please. Don't inject yourself or your family with bleach.


Keeping your family safe is the biggest priority for most Americans during the pandemic. Which is why we should be listening to reliable sources like, the CDC, and other health officials. Sadly, this means you need to mute President Trump right now. In a recent press conference, Trump floated ideas of using light and injections of disinfectant to stop COVID-19. There is nothing scientific about these claims at all. It would be dangerously usage for anyone to try any of this.

During the press conference, the president floated hitting “the body with a tremendous, whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful, light” and bringing “the light inside the body” as a potential cure, and it was an idea that was only dumb enough for the silver medal of the day.

Then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute. Is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside? Or almost a cleaning, ‘cause you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it’d be interesting to check that. So you’re going to have to use medical doctors but it sounds interesting to me, so we’ll see but the whole concept of the light.

As best as we can tell, Trump is assuming that disinfectants that kill the virus on surfaces can do the same when injected into the human body when in reality they’ll just kill you. It’s like suggesting gargling grout cleaner to whiten your teeth or using steel wool as a pumice stone.

The entire exchange evinces a poisoned thought process emanating from a mind ill-equipped to grasp the situation and colored by a desperate desire for the whole ordeal to be over.

What this exchange also shows — besides that The Onion is psychic — is that Trump did not learn his lesson from last month’s chloroquine debacle, in which he similarly mentioned the potential usefulness of an anti-malaria drug in treating COVID-19. People listened to him, some of them died, and a study evaluating the efficacy of the drug was halted due to a “primary outcome” of death.

You’d like to think that no one will shoot up with a syringe full of Chlorox based on the president’s ramblings, but past experience tells us it’s probably going to happen, making a dumb and sad world that much dumber and sadder.