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The Exact Right Amount Of Sex Is Totally Attainable For Couples With Kids

Being asked if you’re having enough sex is like being asked if something makes your spouse look fat — the question is a trap and the only correct answer is running out of the room. That is, unless a researcher is the one who’s wondering, which was the case for 25,000 couples ages 18 to 89 (approximately 2,400 married ones total). Given their surprising answers, you may or may not appreciate them sharing their notes.

The massive study out of the University Of Toronto Mississauga found that sex is indeed key to happiness in relationships — couple who have it are happier than couples who don’t, and if you’re Canadian you may want your tax dollars back now because they’re clearly being wasted at old UTM. But diving deeper into the numbers, the researchers determined that more sex is only better to a point. Couples who got busy 4 times a week didn’t report being any happier than couples who did it once a week, which might be crushing news to your inner 18-year-old but probably comes as a relief to the guy who considers it a victory if he’s still awake at the end of the end of date night.

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Having sex once a week may be attainable, but that doesn’t make it easy either. So don’t feel bad if you’re not having it enough to be considered happy within the confines of this survey (these researchers don’t know your life). Once a week is something to shoot for, so step your game up. If that doesn’t work, share this study with your spouse and hope that being right is as much of an aphrodisiac for them as it is for you.