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The Biggest COVID-19 Side Effect Might Be Kids Cussing All the Time

The toll of quarantine has taken many forms. But, are you kids dropping f-bombs like motherf***ers now?

Are you kids bouncing off the walls? Are you fighting needlessly with your spouse? For most American families (and families around the world) the answer to these questions is an obvious “yes.” But are your kids also swearing like sailors?

Over at The New Yorker, one Rumaan Alam has suggested that not only are we all freaking out and figuring out what to do with our kids, but we’re also swearing around our kids more, and thus, they too, are becoming even more foul-mouthed than we thought possible. In other words, the biggest side-effect of COVID-19 is that our kids are hearing us swear way more than they normally do, and thus, will probably start swearing more, too. Granted, this is mostly anecdotal, but when Alam mentions that one of his friends said: “I think the problem in our house is that I am using more bad language out of my own weakness and frustration” and that their kids are “emboldened” to use bad language as a result, many of us can relate.

Personally, I have never said, “fuck” or “fucking” in front of my three-year-old. That is, until about two weeks ago. I’m not even sure why, or if it was justified in any kind of way that makes sense. It was just one of those moments where I blurted out, “I don’t know what to fucking do!” It wasn’t even directed at anyone. It was like I was a malfunctioning robot, my basic programming was receiving contradictory information, and smoke was starting to come out of my circuits.

Right now, I’m lucky. My daughter has not started saying “fuck” because I said it. But, as we continue to shelter-in-place, I have no doubt that at some point, my little one will become a master of colorful metaphors well before she can spell.

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