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Substitute Teacher Tells 1st-Graders Santa Claus Is Fake. Everyone Freaks Out.

Wait. Santa isn't real? Who was that guy?

Sending their very young kids to school is hard enough for parents. It’s hard not to worry about their safety, their health, and whether they have the right snack in their backpack. They also apparently have to worry about a rogue substitute teacher destroying the magic of Christmas. It sounds crazy, but it just happened in a first grade classroom at a school in Brooklyn, New York.

Now, I know we live in an age where we’re supposed to be really honest with our kids. Here at Fatherly, we have even published an article in which a writer advocates that you don’t lie to your kids about Santa. Like, at all. I get that. That’s fine. But, at the same time: WHAT THE FUCK! I think it’s okay if some smart-mouthed kids try to tell my kid that Santa isn’t real (that’s going to happen anyway) but it shouldn’t be coming from teachers.

When you’re a child, stuff like magic and Santa is akin to a religious choice on the part of the parents. You don’t see teachers going around telling kids Jesus didn’t really come back to life, or that the miraculous Hanukkah oil couldn’t have lasted eight days. All of this stuff is pretty nuts, so let’s just give kids a break and let parents decide if they are going to do the whole Santa thing the same way we let them decide which religion to raise their kids in.

My daughter isn’t grade-school aged, yet, but now, you can bet, that I’m going to look a teacher straight in the face, and ask them, point-blank, if they are planning on ruining Santa and the Easter bunny for my daughter. I found out Santa wasn’t real like right before I got married, so let’s give these kids a break already.

Fatherly IQ
  1. How stir crazy do your kids get on indoor days?
    Not very. They like being inside.
    For a time, they’re content. But they need to be occupied.
    Very. They’re like caged animals.
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Also, I’m willing to admit that maybe that substitute teacher was just having a bad day, but I’m still going to tell Santa that they’ve earned a spot on the naughty list and shouldn’t get anything but coal in their stocking for Christmas. I know how this works!