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Stephen Colbert Hilariously Mocks Military-Style Baby Gear for Dads

Variety may be the spice of life, but who decided the world needed tactical diaper bags?

According to Late Show host Stephen Colbert, it’s easy to tell he’s a dad because he “Know[s] a lot about the Civil War” and has a registered email address with Hotmail. As a dad, Colbert told his audience, he likes to keep up with the latest “dad trends”, but the most recent trend (not actually recent, but recently reported by the Wall Street Journal), has the comedian scratching his head and wondering why anyone would need military style baby gear.

Colbert came out of the gate swinging on Friday, saying, “Finally, a baby carrier that protects both the baby’s delicate head and the daddies even more delicate sense of masculinity.” Now, there’s is nothing inherently wrong with whatever baby accessories a father chooses to buy, but as Colbert points out, some of the marketing strategies are a little bit over the top. On their website, Tactical Baby Gear even claims to be cornering “…a market full of guys sick of diaper bag emasculation.” That’s both fair, in that many diaper bags do seem kind of silly looking, and a bit absurd.

In honor of the new trend in baby gear, Colbert and actor Rob Riggle (formerly of the Marine Corps) aired the hilarious first installment of “Stephen Colbert’s High-T Toxic Masculinity Nook” to pitch some of their very own baby products like the “MX-80 Assault Soother,” a white noise machine that replaces the white noise with sounds off the battlefield, and the :”Stroll-Vee: Armored Personnel Stroller.” The bit was funny and, perhaps ironically, some of the products had real appeal.