Part of the fun of a new Star Wars movie is coming up with theories about the plot, particularly when it’s a trilogy-ender like The Rise of Skywalker. But with the well-oiled Disney secrecy machine preventing any real information from coming out before the film comes to theaters on Friday, the speculative energy on Twitter has taken a turn for the silly, and we couldn’t be happier.
#FakeRiseofSkywalkerSpoilers is exactly what it sounds like, a hashtag for people who want to have some fun with some ridiculous theories about the new movie. Here are some of our favorite “spoilers” for the film.
Plenty of folks went with the low-hanging fruit that the entire saga was a dream/hallucination/story/vision the whole time. It might have been Kylo Ren who had the vision.
Kylo Ren wakes up back in the Jedi Temple as a padawan in training, Luke Skywalker says, “Are you okay, it looks like you were having a bad dream.” #FakeRiseofSkywalkerSpoilers pic.twitter.com/E6WPokQ0EE
— David Camacho (@Kestrel3The) December 16, 2019
Or perhaps original trilogy-era Luke Skywalker.
— Eric Hanke (@Eric_Hanke) December 16, 2019
Our personal favorite theory is that it was the grandfather from The Princess Bride, because there’s never a bad time for a Princess Bride reference.
— The Dude of Jay (@RoweBotRock) December 16, 2019
Rise of Skywalker is interesting because it’s coming out just as another Star Wars property, The Mandalorian, reaches the zenith of the zeitgeist. If there was a connection between the two, fans would definitely freak out. If there was a giant Baby Yoda, we can’t even imagine the chaos it would cause online.
— Cameron Grant (@cool_cam_101) December 16, 2019
Would making Baby Yoda evil be even worse? We think so, though it might be nice for people to learn not to automatically trust cute things.
— jhawk4life 🇺🇸 (@jhawk4life) December 16, 2019
The biggest twist in Star Wars history is “Luke, I am your father,” so why not try to duplicate it with another paternity reveal?
Rey is The Mandalorian's daughter
— John Adartse (@FinHimself) December 16, 2019
Fans of the series know that Stormtroopers are awful shots, so this theory doubles as an unexpected twist and a vicious burn.
— Daniel Hopkins (@IamDHop) December 16, 2019
Is it as good as Sith Lord Binks? It’s hard to say, because what the hell would be better than Sith Lord Binks?
The Revealing Of
Sith Lord Binks 👊 pic.twitter.com/1DeQUvQt4u
— Midwest Crypt Keeper ☠️ (@CryptMidwest) December 16, 2019
— Steve Sellers (@Shadewing) December 16, 2019
A Star Wars-Ren and Stimpy crossover is about as bizarre as anything we could imagine, kudos to this guy for putting this idea into the world.
Kylo Ren’s sidekick, Kylo Stimpy, is introduced.
— Chris O'Brien (@bigdweeb) December 16, 2019
Except for Disney mixing it up with their other golden goose of a franchise. Bonus points if Samuel L. Jackson returns as Nick Fury and/or Mace Windu.
— Mediocre_Spider-Man (@Mediocre_Spidey) December 16, 2019
Who gets mad if John Williams throws a Bowie song or two onto the soundtrack?
— 🎄Just Merry🎄 (@Ladyfish666) December 16, 2019
OK this one kind of makes us groan; we’re still weary from the arguing after Hayden Christiansen got himself inserted in newer cuts of the original trilogy as the ghost of Anakin Skywalker. Please let Han rest in peace.
— Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin [snarkin] (@FearInSlippers) December 16, 2019
It feels appropriate to end with a saintly image of Keanu Reeves holding a Baby Yoda holding a White Claw. What could be more 2019 than that?
— Sophie B (@TinkerbullSGB) December 16, 2019
Star Wars Episode IX — The Rise of Skywalker opens this Friday, December 20.