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Redditors Discuss Dangerous Vintage Toys And It’s A Total Throwback

These toys would never be sold today.

Toy Max via YouTube

In a viral Reddit thread, users of the social media platform are talking about the super dangerous toys they had as kids that they played with freely — and it’s bringing us back big time. From hot metal slides to chemical sets, to trampolines and toys that were basically designed to be choking hazards, it’s a genuine relief that some of these toys aren’t sold anymore. And the AskReddit thread, started by u/Breadsticksamurai, has yielded some genuinely scary answers.

The top comment in the thread was from u/TheMemeSniper who said, “I have a crayon melter that melts crayons and lets you pour it into molds so you could make your own crayons and rings.” Very cool! And then they added: “turns out production stopped because of a failure to stop the heater from being turned on if the lid was opened.” Hm.

Nassau Candy/Amazon

“We had these weird fake cigarettes that actually allowed you to blow smoke that was quite realistic,” another user added. Others had toys that genuinely could have ended in disaster.

“A chemistry set,” u/SinceLastNovember said. “My brother and I were totally unsupervised and never followed the instructions. We just mixed chemicals together at random to see what would happen.” Tons of kids, it turns out, had chemistry sets that had real chemicals — and even mercury — in them to play with.

“My cousin and I did the same thing,” a commenter responded. “One time we got a cork stuck in a beaker and we, without eye protection, decided to take a Bunsen burner… and heat it pop the cork off. Yeah don’t do that. The beaker exploded and we got hot unknown liquid on our face.” 

Others mentioned the playgrounds of the past — made out of splintery wood and hot metal, that would burn your legs on a summer day, Creepy Crawlers, another melty toy that could deliver serious burns (one user revealed they still have a scar on their forearm from the toy that was manufactured in the very early aughts.) 

Moon shoes, the old Beyblades that actually had sharp metal on them that could let you cut yourself, Skydancers (both of which could spin into children’s eye and, yes, blind them), the unmatched power of the mid-’90s to early 2000’s super soakers, slip and slides, even Polly Pockets, and the Littlest Pet Shop toys are now made big because they were — yes — tiny and a complete choking hazard.

While it’s fun to reminisce on the old times, it’s better to know that toys today are at least, for the most part, a little bit safer. Although more likely than not, kids today will look back on what they played with 20 years from now and wonder how we let these things get sold or made. This truth is basically universal.