You can love your kids with a primal force that enables superhuman feats like lifting cars or sitting through Little League doubleheaders, but that doesn’t mean you like everything about them. There are temper tantrums and picky eating, sure, but much of the annoying nonsense kids pull is less well-known to the non-parents of the world. Case in point: the responses to a Reddit thread asking parents what their least favorite thing about their child is. They’re among the most amusing things we’ve read so far this year.
“My 4yo is WAY too much like me. It’s hard arguing with a smaller, less emotionally developed version of yourself,” says u/FloatingKoalas, identifying the uncanniest aspect of parenting. “All the things that annoy me about my kids are traits they inherited from me. Apparently I’m pretty annoying,” agreed u/sassylittlespoon.
Others had less psychologically fraught complaints. “They both think being in a lockdown/virtual school situation means they never need to bathe or use deodorant again,” u/GingerMau wrote. “Kids seem perfectly content to wallow in their own filth if allowed to. The shower has to be an enforced rule. Anytime I give them the option, they opt out regardless of how bad they smell,” u/DMala replied.
It’s not just poor hygiene that makes kids smelly, of course. “My daughter likes to wait until we’re cozy and comfortable before dropping and load in her diaper,” writes u/lrakcarl while u/Erikalicious wrote that his son’s farts “are so bad it actually makes me angry and the little shit thinks it’s the most hilarious thing.”
It’s not just mental and emotional turmoil kids can put their parents through. “He likes to randomly spin with his arms out, I just got backhanded in what used to be my sack in the middle of Walmart, it’s the third time this week,” u/DifferenceCritical55 said of their son.
But the cleverest response in the thread for those of us who’ve been damaged not just by kids but also by Twitter came from u/iammagna: “How she can’t open a can of beans by herself,” referencing the infamous Bean Dad moment that unraveled over Twitter on the weekend.
Hopefully the parents who’re dealing with annoying, smelly, and/or physically dangerous kids get a chuckle out of that reply. They clearly need it more than the rest of us.