The idea of a macho-man being referred to as a “Rambo” is so ingrained in everyone’s brains that it’s hard to remember that there was actually a time before Rambo movies actually existed. But now, it looks like Sylvester Stallone’s alter-ego John Rambo is really going to be in his final movie titled
I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit; Rambo: Last Blood.
Set to a slowed-down version of Lil’ Nas X’s “Old Town Road,” Rambo: Last Blood leaves no old-guy action-star cliche unturned, which is why it will probably be awesome. In a plot that looks kind of like a mash-up of the last 20 minutes of Skyfall and the final episode of Breaking Bad, it seems Rambo is going to set a bunch of boobytraps and kill a bunch of dudes who probably (maybe?) deal drugs. (Killing evil drug dealers is what badass old dudes do fulltime in action movies these days, just so we’re clear.)
The only question that remains at this point relative to Last Blood is whether or not Sly will utter the greatest old-guy action movie battle cry of all time; will Sly actually say “I’m getting too old for this shit?” And if he doesn’t will it really be Last Blood, or could there be a sequel. It’s a bit of a paradox, to be honest. When someone says “I’m getting too old for this shit” in an action movie (usually Danny Glover), it almost certainly means there’s a sequel and they are, in fact, not too old for this, or any other shit.
So, what say you, Rambo? Too old? Perhaps just perfectly old enough for this shit?
Rambo: Last Blood is out in theaters everywhere on September 20, 2019.
Side note: This is somehow, only the fifth Rambo movie. Doesn’t it seem like it’s the 20th?