Having kids can make it feel almost impossible to hold yourself to the same social and physical standards that you did before. All of a sudden you’re tired all the time, you probably put on a few pounds and dressing up before you leave the house sounds like a good joke. But, per the adage, there’s life before kids and then there’s life after kids. Even though it can be hard to accept that things aren’t the same anymore, one mom’s viral Facebook post is telling parents that they should stop shaming themselves and each other.
Texas mother of three Amy Weatherly was inspired to make the post after going out for lunch with an old friend who pointed out that it was hard to believe she was out in public wearing tennis shoes and no makeup. The friend proceeded to ask “Who even are you anymore?” and Weatherly had a profound answer.
“In a past life, in a galaxy far far away, I was the girl who only wore wedges and trendy tops. I was the girl who was never without makeup and big hair. I was the girl never without jewelry, and lip gloss, and loads of foundation. I had myself together. I was voted ‘girliest girl’ and ‘most likely to wear heels’ for crying out loud,” she wrote. “…Yeah, something about that third baby really forced me to let myself go.”
I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a while today. We chatted and hugged and she laughed and said “I can’t believe I’m…
It wasn’t long after dwelling on the words “let myself go” that Weatherly actually decided that who she is now makes her happier.
“I’m more confident now. I’m more sure of myself. I’m less likely to cry over a breakout, or miss out on a night with my girls because of dirty hair. I’m less likely to slip into a mild depression because someone decided they didn’t like me, or pile on the insecurity because I wasn’t invited to that party,” Wetherly wrote. “Truth is, I kind of like myself now, definitely more than I did before. I wouldn’t go back to that girl with the good hair for all the skinny jeans and skinny lattes in the world.”
In Weatherly’s eyes, moms need to abandon the idea that they’ve let themselves go and realize that they don’t have to look perfect all the time. Beyond that, she writes that anyone who tells you that about yourself is being rude and derogatory. That means when you tell it to yourself too.
“You have simply let go of stuff that will last a little while, for stuff that will last for generations and generations and generations,” the mom wrote. “Pretty is an outside thing. Beautiful is an inside thing. Beautiful is who and what you love and what you do.”