“When are you going to have kids?” may seem like an innocent question to ask your newly married friends, but one mom blogger says not only is it nosey and inappropriate but it’s also potentially hurtful.
“Trying to conceive isn’t easy unless you are a highly fertile 17 year old, that could fall pregnant just by talking about it,” Adele Barbaro of “The Real Mumma” wrote on Facebook. “The odds of conception and retaining a pregnancy are actually pretty shit, topped off with the huge amount of people that are reproductively challenged with polycystic ovaries, endometriosis etc etc. And I was one of them…”
In her post, which is now going viral, the Australian mom then opened up about her own struggles to get pregnant using IVF. “It is the most time consuming, invasive, expensive and emotionally painful roller coaster I have been on. It actually broke me,” she said, adding that she “became quite bitter, desperate and depressed” and even stopped seeing friends and family who had kids because it was too painful.
And while Barbaro did eventually become pregnant with son Harvey, she considers herself “one of the lucky ones.” She explained, “Many couples will be trying for years. And some may never succeed and my heart goes out to them.”
So the next time you think about asking the kids question, Barbaro advises, “Be sensitive. Don’t ask them when they are having kids. You never know what’s going on.”
People are praising Barbaro, who now has two healthy children, for her vulnerability and honesty. Her post has now been shared over 40,000 times as moms chime in with their own experiences, thanking Barbaro for speaking up.
-we are just enjoying being newly married-we have some travelling we want to do first-I'm just focusing on my career…