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#MarriageIn4Words is Trending On Twitter and We All Clearly Need Counseling

So far, no one has said "Marriage is actually fine."

Twitter/@littlevix

If you’re worried that there is no middle ground between being a total cynic and a hopeless romantic, it turns out that fear is well-founded. If hashtag trends on Twitter are any indication about how most people feel about a given topic, then the latest #MarriageIn4Words trend seems to put people into two camps. The first camp is those who want to demonstrate that love is real and they believe in the undying power of love and that Celine Dion is actually pretty good, okay? And then there’s the second camp, full of people who are dropping GIFs of celebrities giving people side-eye, or, confoundingly, insist that marriage is bad because a K-pop GIF really really drives home their point.

On Thursday, the hashtag #MarriageIn4Word began to really take-off on Twitter again, and the responses really do seem to indicate that everyone needs counseling.

Predictably, reading through all of the different responses back-to-back will make you feel a little crazy, mostly because there’s a yelling-inside-your-own-brain quality to all of this that feels very unhinged.

Also, again, I’d like to point out that I feel very lucky that I will never really understand why images of K-pop celebrities are the new silver-bullet in Twitter debates. Can you imagine getting really heated with someone in a bar and taking a photograph of a K-Pop singer out of your wallet, slapping it on the table and walking away? That’s what it feels like whenever I see this stuff. Am I alone? Like, to be clear, I LOVE THAT IT DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS. I am not trying to understand this.

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  1. When selecting games to play with your child, the most important criteria is:
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    It teaches kids how to follow rules
    It teaches hard skills like counting, matching, reading
    It teaches softer skills like empathy, cooperation, listening
    It brings the kid in on a family tradition
    None of the above
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The number of people shitting on marriage is also nearly equal to the number of people saying it’s the best thing ever. (Side question: wouldn’t it be funny if the celebrity who represents this person’s anti-marriage viewpoint was, in real life, married? Or would that not be funny? Perhaps I have missed the point of GIFs representing real feelings. Have I mentioned that I am out of touch with the young people?)

But, to give the anti-marriage people a break for a second, some of the pro-marriage posts scan a little doth-protest-too-much. Like, if your marriage is so great, do you really need to get online and post about it?

Perhaps the most disappointing thing about the trending hashtag is that, as noted, no one seems to be able to offer a moderate viewpoint. So far, I have been unable to find the four words: “Marriage is actually fine.” Which, let’s face it, is the real truth.