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Japan Airlines Will Now Let Customers Know Where the Babies on Their Plane Are Sitting

We understand the impulse, but the new tool doesn't make a ton of sense when you examine it more closely.

Rahat Ahmed/Twitter

There are two kinds of people: babies and former babies. The former tend to cry, through no fault of their own, and the latter used to cry, through no fault of their own. Air travel, with its changing air pressure, loud noises, and the strange sensations of taking off, can be a particularly tear-inducing experience for little ones.

In response to this reality, Japan Airlines has a new feature to customers booking on its website. Whenever anyone booking directly through Japan Airlines books a ticket for a passenger under two, a baby icon will appear on the seat map for passengers subsequently selecting their own seats.

This will be great news to the certain former babies in the world who insist on whining about being on an airplane with a crying baby as if that isn’t the cost of perpetuating the human race.

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“Where babies plan to scream and yell.” That’s rich.

The idea is that people can avoid sitting near babies, but it’s definitely flawed whether or not the flight is sold out.

If a flight isn’t full, a reasonable flight attendant would allow you to change seats if you were near a particularly loud infant. No new seating chart required. If a flight is full, then by definition someone will be sitting next to that loud infant, and the feature doesn’t actually improve the experience of the passengers as a whole.

The feature also only works for bookings made directly on its website, and if there is an aircraft change the icons won’t appear on the new seating chart.

That does make us imagine a delightful situation wherein a smug passenger, confident he’s secured a seat far from the nearest child, sits down next to a kid whose parents booked through a third party website. A bit sadistic? Yes. But that guy could always just get a pair of noise-canceling headphones instead of complaining, right?