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Have More Kids Because It Apparently Jacks Your Salary (As Long As You’re A Guy)

If you have to spend money to make money, then having kids (and all the expensive things they need) should’ve make you one of the richest men alive. Unless you’re Bill Gates, that’s not exactly true, but it’s not totally untrue either. According new research out of Britain’s Trade Union Congress, it literally pays to be a dad — despite the fact that you never get to spend any of that money on yourself.

The study of 17,000 individuals found that fathers bring home a 21 percent wage bonus on average, which you were probably too tired to notice. On top of that, men with 2 kids made an additional 9 percent more than men who had one (so if you were looking for a name for your second kid, Cash might suffice). Although this research is from the UK, the report also pointed out a similar trend in the U.S., where over half of the increase was attributed to new fathers straight up working hard. The remaining percent could have something to do with not wanting to return home from the quiet refuge of your office. And the whole thing serves as a slap in the face to working mothers everywhere, who normally experience pay decreases after having a kid — despite the fact that you and the guy giving you your raise both know she’s working harder than both of you.


This may explain why the top 10 richest people in the world are all dads, but it does little to explain where the hell your salary goes. Even if you never see a dime of it, just know you’re better than all those single guys walking around with less money. Rest assured, their freedom is far from free.