There are some jobs that seem so incredible that it’s hard not to envy the lucky bastard who gets to perform the enviable task. Ben & Jerry’s Flavor Gurus. Professional Netflix Watcher. Water Slide Tester. But even these incredible jobs pale in comparison to the one person who is truly living the dream: the Troll who literally farts glitter.
For those unfamiliar with this flatulent hero, there is a trio of trolls named Poppy, Branch, and Guy Diamond (from the Dreamworks movie and TV show Trolls) at Universal Studios in Orlando who, much like Mickey and friends at the Disney Parks, do character meet-and-greets with fans at the theme park. And a video of the trolls shows that one of them, specifically Guy Diamond, exposes his bare troll buttox to the crowd and then passes gas that magically manifests itself into sparkly wonder.
Now after we were done watching this video approximately 50 times and checking Universal Studios’ job listings to see if they were hiring any more farting trolls website (sadly, they aren’t), we had a couple of questions about Guy Diamond’s unique farting abilities: namely, is this official Trolls canon? A quick internet deep dive reveals that Guy Diamond (also known as the resident “naked glitter troll”) does, in fact, shoot glitter out of his ass anytime he needs to cut the cheese. It turns out, Guy Diamond farts glitter pretty much anytime he’s given the opportunity. It’s even a recurring bit on the TV show, which means we may have a new show to binge.
So here’s to you, Guy Diamond, and here’s to whoever has the honor of wearing that glittery, farting troll costume. May you both continue to entertain both adults and children alike with your unrivaled ability to turn breaking wind into an art form.