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Got A Daughter? Good, You Can Be President Of The United States

Now that Ben Carson is coming back to earth in the polls, you might think it’s because of his non-existent experience with (or apparent interest in) foreign policy, or maybe his wing-nut ideas about the Egyptian pyramids. Here’s an explanation that’s more relevant to a guy with kids: He doesn’t have any daughters.

According to a just-leaked State Department email from a Hillary Clinton advisor, the history of successful candidates without daughters isn’t encouraging: In the last 80 years, only one President — John F. Kennedy — had a son. That’s 12 presidents, nearly consecutively, who raised only daughters. The email was in regards whether this fact hurt Mitt Romney’s chances in the 2012 election, and the theory isn’t nearly as crazy Carson and his “grain silos” — Romney’s 5 sons were asked to lower their public profile during his campaign because his advisors felt they made the candidate unrelatable (or maybe they just confused everyone).

Clinton email

The other guy who stands to not benefit from this shocking revelation? Bernie Sanders, although presumably the research to date isn’t rigorous enough to properly account for how his stepdaughter affects his chances. More importantly, though, is your own brood — if your little one is a girl, maybe you should throw your hat in the Republican ring. Rubio, Bush, and Christie all have daughters, but clearly that’s not helping any of their chances.