There’s likely one little person in your house that you blame on your disappearing sex life, and it’s not your spouse (no matter how short they are). But don’t write your kid off as a wingman just yet: A recent study from Georgia State University suggests the more time you spend taking care of them, the more likely you are to get laid.
Researchers pulled their data from the 2006 Marital Relationship Study, which included responses for 974 married couples about the division of childcare, relationship satisfaction, sexual intimacy, and how it’s all intertwined. Couples who divided childcare responsibilities equally experienced more sexual satisfaction and better relationships than couples who took a more old fashioned approach. In other words, you parents were doing it wrong.
Interestingly, when men took on a majority of the child rearing responsibilities (yes, that happened), couples sex lives took a much smaller hit than when women did the same, because apparently you put out regardless of resentments. According to authors of the study, “increases in men’s performance of childcare is associated for both partners with more satisfaction with the division of childcare, higher quality sexual relationships, lower levels of couple conflict, and higher overall relationship satisfaction.”
It’s important to note that this study concluded shared responsibility could improve your quality of sex, not necessarily quantity. Even if you have an egalitarian marriage, it’s still a marriage and changing all the diapers won’t result in all the sex. On average men reported having sex 7.054 times a month and women reported 6.911 times, a little more than once a week, which is slightly more than you may need. And that’s good news because, if the secret to having more sex is more labor, it hardly seems fair considering how tired you are already.