The New Yorker Caption Contest is typically seen as an activity reserved for erudite adults. A nine-year-old named Alice is trying to change that perspective, and she’s already writing captions that are funnier than a lot of the contest winners. Bess Kalb is a comedy writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live!. Yesterday, she posted several of her cousin’s daughter’s fantastic jokes on Twitter with the caption: “Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the @NewYorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight.” It quickly became obvious that humor-writing chops run in the Kalb family.
Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the @NewYorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight. pic.twitter.com/Lhzmq7Pnsb
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 4, 2018
The tweet immediately went viral ⏤ it received over 11,000 retweets and was liked more than 46,000 times in less than a day ⏤ and it prompted Kalb to share even more custom captions from her “first cousin once removed,” which were just as funny as the first batch.
There are so many (she grabs every issue before her mom can get ahold of it) and every single one of them is perfect. pic.twitter.com/vsnG2unIbN
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 4, 2018
According to Kalb, Alice has been doing her own silly and on-point captions for over a year, as she will grab the New Yorker every morning and come up with ideas before her mom can get a hold of it. Kalb also shared her favorite of Alice’s captions, which proves that sometimes the most obvious is the best joke.
From last year. The best one. pic.twitter.com/UzUgwQzGB7
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 5, 2018
Thousands of Twitter users praised Alice’s sharp joke-writing abilities, including stand-up comedian Patton Oswalt, who also took the time to praise his own daughter, who’s also named Alice.
Kids named Alice tend to be amazing. This thread proves it. https://t.co/AzSJfwfh95
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 5, 2018
Kalb said that even as someone who writes jokes for a living, she can’t match her daughter’s ability to create a pithy, surprising caption for every cartoon she sees.
I am a professional joke writer for a professional TV show and I truly can't touch any of this. Thank you for being as obsessed with Alice as our family is!
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 5, 2018
Kalb also took the time to thank everyone for showing so much support to her cousin’s daughter, saying that it had been “a huge shot of confidence” for Alice. Little girls aren’t often encouraged to be funny and smart and, hopefully, the positive feedback will spur Alice on. Who knows, maybe one day her hilarious captions will actually end up in the New Yorker.
Alice is an incredible kid. She loves her little brother and @HamiltonMusical (she knows EVERY lyric). Teachers don't always encourage creative writing, so today has been a huge shot of confidence for her. Let young girls know when they're funny and smart. Many people don't.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 5, 2018
