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Comedian Paul Scheer Shares the Secret to Good Parenting: Lying, Bribing, and Bargaining

"I'm hoping to keep them as dumb as I can for as long as I can."

Jimmy Kimmel Live Youtube

During an interview with late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, comedian Paul Scheer broke down his secret to managing his sons. The father of two explained that his whole parenting style revolves around three things: lying, bribing, and bargaining.

“This weekend we had to run errands. So I’m like guys do you wanna go to the coolest place? ‘What place, Disneyland?’ and I’m like, no, the dry cleaners! And they’re just like ‘Yeah!, what’s that?’ and I say, we’re gonna go get my pants hemmed.” Scheer explained. “I get them so pumped in the car that they’re literally like ‘Dry cleaners! Dry cleaners! Dry cleaners!!'”

As Scheer jokes, he wants to keep his sons as dumb as he can for as long as he can. But based on the other half of the story, he still has a few more years before they catch on to the fact that their dad is pulling one over on them. For example, because “there is not enough Peppa Pig to be watched,” Scheer even combines lying and bribery as he described repurposing old toys as a means of getting his kids to sit down and chill through a long plane ride.

“What I now have done is I go around their room and find old toys that they haven’t played with and ii wrap them up and I put them in my bag, and on the airplane I go ‘guys, I think Santa left these at the house and you haven’t opened them!,'” he said. “I give them presents, they open it up and are like ‘whoa!’ and they forget that they already own it.”