By nature, kids are creative little creatures. They have years to hone their skills because they spend so much time during the first years of their lives imagining the answers to questions they don’t understand. This also makes so many of them exceptional, ridiculous fibbers and we all went to school with some kid who used to just make up nonsense everyone believed. Over the weekend, Twitter user David Thorpe asked his followers to “tell me about the kid you knew as a kid who lied a lot. Hit me with their greatest lie.” And, boy, did Twitter not disappoint.
As you might imagine, users sent Thorpe messages explaining how little kids lied about absolutely ludicrous topics. One kid claimed his dad was Steven Tyler’s dentist and sharpened his teeth using lasers; another said he wrote “Gansta’s Paradise.” Others described lies so bananas, you have to give them credit for simply coming up with it. Based on the rest, sitcoms should just start hiring these kids to do some punch-up work. Here are some of our favorites:
This kid Keith said his dad was Steven Tyler's dentist and he sharpened Steven's teeth using lasers.
— jordan (@nu_handen) January 20, 2018
Kid in 3rd grade told me his uncle's computer was so advanced it could make orange juice and gold and platinum bars
— Trey Cant Write (@Trebucket) January 20, 2018
Said he wrote "Gangsta's Paradise" but dropped it and Coolio found it. Presumably while one of them was on holiday, given that we lived in a small village in the west of Scotland.
— Tom Houslay (@tomhouslay) January 20, 2018
Knew a kid whose dad worked at a TV station, the kid claimed he’d gone to the station and met the ninja turtles
— pixelated boat (@pixelatedboat) January 20, 2018
A kid I went to school with told our entire second grade class that his grandfather was one of Jesus Christ’s disciples
— Annie McGraw (@annie_mcGraw) January 20, 2018
My friend thought "Jungle 2 Jungle" was "Jungle Jungle 2" and when I corrected him he was so embarrassed he lied and stuck to his guns and said he owned a movie called "Jungle Jungle 1" and made up the plot and everything. I asked to borrow it but he said he couldn't find it
— Tyler Schmall (@tylerschmall) January 21, 2018
In second grade, a girl named Helene told me she was the Queen of Corrosion, Corrosion being some kind of magic. She inducted me into Corrosion and gave me a talisman–the broken handle of a pink plastic spoon. I held onto it for years, afraid to throw it away.
— Julie Goldberg (@juliegoldberg) January 20, 2018
said Nightcrawler (the X-Men character) was based on a guy who lived in the attic of his church. also claimed the Jaws robot at Universal Studios took on a mind of its own and chased him into a barn until the tour guide killed it with a shotgun
— Kyle Daly (@dalykyle) January 20, 2018
