A dad has gone viral for a TikTok video that brings comforting advice to new parents. When we enter into the parenting world, we’re often bombarded with unsolicited advice. At times, this advice can leave us feeling judged and confused about all the conflicting information.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps,” but “make sure you’re not neglecting your partner.” Or “don’t co-sleep with your baby,” but also, “you don’t care about your kid if you don’t co-sleep.” Navigating all of the conflicting and frustrating information and finding some sort of confidence in your skills is harder than it should be. This is why we love this dad’s advice to a new parent: it’s actually comforting.
One part of Dumb Dad Pod, a dad posted a TikTok video talking new parents through labor, birth, and those first few days of parenthood. From his perspective as an “experienced parent,” he has some really sound advice and insight.
“Are you OK, though?” he asks, “It’s OK to not be OK.”
“The delivery is a nightmare,” he admits, adding that a c-section birth is probably a lot more involved than one realizes.
“They take everything out of your partner like they’re a bully emptying your backpack,” he says. “Then they’re just frugging around in there like it’s a junk drawer and they’re looking for a bottle opener. They pulled a whole human out of my wife and then 48 hours later, they were like, ‘all right, let’s go. I’ve more people to scream into this world.'”
“It must be nice to finally be home, though, right?” he says before telling the truth that it’s not nice. “It’s not nice, though. That car ride home sucked because you’re just more aware of car accidents,” he says.
Tackling that first night of sleep, the dad admits that sleep is a concept that won’t be enjoyable for at least the next year.
Every new parent knows that sleep isn’t going to be easy to find for the next while, but what this dad says about stress and parenting is really sound advice.
“Fair warning, it’s going to get stressful at times,” he admits, with another warning.
“Just don’t go flaunting your stress to your wife because even though you watched all that stuff happen, she experienced it,” he says. “And they made you cut the umbilical cord so you can get a participation trophy.”
His last bit of advice for new parents is what more parents need to hear, honestly.
“You’re going to do a great job; just know that sometimes you’re going to do a bad job,” he says.
And he’s not wrong. Not all our decisions will be the right ones, and that doesn’t make us bad parents. It makes us human, and just like everyone else in the world.