No matter how much you reveled in your urban-based bachelorhood, the appeal of suburban life becomes more clear when you have kids — lest they run away as a member of some subway dance troupe. To help ease your inevitable transition from bar-hopper to lawn-mower, Business Insider recently ranked “The 50 Best Suburbs In America” based on a methodology including “average commute times, median household income, poverty and crime rates, public-school ratings from GreatSchools.org, and a measure of housing affordability” for 2,754 municipalities with populations between 5,000 and 100,000 within 40 kilometers of a metropolitan area.
The site admits, “Our list was dominated by the Midwest, or more specifically by Ohio suburbs,” with 8 of the state’s suburbs making the list, including the top spot: New Albany. Of course, what BI neglects to admit is that a the prime advantage of a suburb is access to an adjacent “‘urb.” And it’s hard to imagine many people are clamoring to move to the greater Columbus metropolitan area, despite the Columbus Crew having won the MLS Cup as recently as 2008. If you’re ‘burb hunting, you most likely want to flee one of America’s largest cities. The list points New Yorkers towards Chatham or North Caldwell, New Jersey. Chicagoan’s can consider Winnetka, Deerfield, or Hinsdale, Illinois. Meanwhile, no Los Angeles suburbs made the list, possibly because Los Angeles is less of an city and more of an endless sprawl of highly urbanized suburbs. Either that, or part of BI‘s methodology was dinging places for their density of vapid C and D-list celebrities.