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A Geyser Erupted in Yellowstone and Spewed an 80-Year-Old Pacifier

Coins and an assortment of trash also spat out of the geyser.

Yellowstone National Park

A geyser in Yellowstone violently erupted and cleaned its own house. In a spray of steam that was more than 30 feet tall, Ear Spring spat out dirt, rocks, about 100 coins and a lot of trash that people had put into the geyser over the years.

“After Ear Spring erupted on September 15, employees found a strange assortment of items strewn across the landscape around its vent,” a statement on the Yellowstone National Park Facebook page read. “Some are clearly historic: they’ll be inventoried by curators and may end up in Yellowstone’s archives.”

This was the most violent eruption Ear Spring has had since 1957. Yellowstone officials said that the geyser spat out a broken bottle, old warning signs, a piece of cinder block, a rubber heel insert and an 8-inch-long plastic straw probably from some moron who tried to drink out of geyser. One of the most interesting and historic finds is a baby pacifier from the 1930s.

The concept of pacifiers originated a long time ago. Parents have given their squalling children bits of ivory, knotted rags soaked in sugar or brandy and a number of other upsetting and unsafe things in an attempt to soothe them. Luckily for everyone, it’s evolved since.

The design for the pacifier we’re all familiar with today was invented by Christian W. Meinecke. He applied for a patent for “a new and original Design for a Baby Comforter” in 1901. The “Baby Comforter” was made out of a rubber nipple with a disk attached to it, so the child wouldn’t swallow it.

Like most inventions that make the lives of everyone easier, the pacifier was maliciously criticized in a number of letters to the editor. Detractors said the pacifier would cause mouth deformities, scoliosis and for children to become masturbators.

This 1930s pacifier that was found was of this classic design and probably caused a parent a lot of grief when his or her child lost it in the geyser, but at least it’s been finally found. On the other hand, the people who threw coins in Ear Spring just had their wishes brutally rejected by nature, so please don’t put things into the geyser.