Welcome to “Why I Yelled,” Fatherly’s ongoing series in which real dudes discuss a time they lost their temper in front of their wife, their kids, their coworker — anyone, really — and why. The goal of this isn’t to examine the deeper meaning of screaming or come to any great conclusions. It’s about yelling and what really triggers it. Meet Joseph who had a flare of road rage over a parking spot while driving to the Apple store.
What was the situation?
We have this really nice outdoor mall near my house. There’s an Apple store. That was the scene of the crime. I was having a bad morning (job stuff) and my laptop charger had died. So, first thing in the day, I went to the Apple store to get a new one. Simple enough.
What went wrong?
Parking is always at a premium at this place, so I was thrilled to find a spot right outside the store, across the street. It was perfect. It was a tight parallel park, but I’m pretty good. I lined up and started to back in when, out of nowhere, this driver in a Mini Cooper slid into my spot from behind me. It was obvious I was claiming the spot. I had my blinker on and everything. And she just shoehorned herself in at the last second. I was beyond pissed.
What did you do?
I decided that I wasn’t going to let this one go, so I backed up right next to her driver’s side door. I sort of boxed her in, and I rolled down my window. I motioned for her to do the same thing. She was on the phone — of course — and she pretended I wasn’t there. Then I went off. “What kind of fucking princess are you, you asshole? This was my spot, and you knew it!”
I screamed and screamed, and she rolled down her window. “Um, sir, this is a public spot,” she said something like that. “You saw me with my blinker on, you moron, and you slid in at the last second. That’s just rude.” We went back and forth, with her claiming she had done nothing wrong, and me just blowing my top.
How did the issue resolve?
Finally, she said, “Alright, sir, you know what? I’ll go ahead and I’ll walk. You can have the spot.” She was being a martyr and acting like I was some sort of jerk for expecting her to find another space. I just yelled, “Ah, bite me!” And I drove away.
How did you get over your road rage?
I found another spot, and I calmed down. I went into the store and, while I was getting my power cord looked at, I confessed to the Apple Genius what I’d done. “Happens all the time,” he said. He explained that people fight over parking spots, like, every hour in front of that place. So, I didn’t feel too bad.
Do you have any regrets?
No. What she did was rude. Maybe, in real life, she’s a nice, sweet girl. But, in parking spot life, she can go to hell.