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They’re Never Home And 7 Other Reasons I Don’t Want My Kids To Think I’m A Superhero

The following was syndicated from Medium for The Fatherly Forum, a community of parents and influencers with insights about work, family, and life. If you’d like to join the Forum, drop us a line at

One of the most wonderful feelings in the world is having your kid run up to you for comfort and safety. As a parent, protecting your kids from the hurts of the world fills you with a deep satisfaction. They can make you feel like a superhero. But, while it’s somewhat cool to hear that your kid see you as strong, and possibly having magical powers, the downsides with being seen as a superhero are far greater. Let’s look at why …


Superheroes Are Orphans

Having had no parents themselves, they have little to no understanding of what parenting entails. Batman might have picked up a few tricks from Albert, but calling your kid “Sir” doesn’t really scream closeness.

They’re Control Freaks

Having had to fend for themselves most of their lives they try to do everything themselves, never letting anyone in to help them. Also, they wouldn’t let anything slip, not even a tiny toy car left on the living room floor.

They’re Strong And Bull-Headed

Their mindset is “where there’s a will, there’s a way”, which basically is the same as “My way or the highway” – the same tactic kids have. Cue chaos.

They Use Fear As Motivation

They honestly believe that others can better themselves by instilling fear. This combined with the next point is a combo for disaster…

They Seek Approval Through Bold Acts

Taking your kid to fun places like the tivoli, cinema or shopping every day might sound great but that’s how you bring up a monster. Remember the Joker?

They’re Arrogant And Lonely

Let’s just say that someone who seeks approval through bold acts probably isn’t the most humble one. We secretly know, though, that behind the mask there’s a simple soul who need love.

They’re Afraid Of Looking Weak

“Don’t let them see the person behind the mask!” is probably the worst advice you can give to a little one.

They’re Never Home

They always have something “more important” to do; there’s always someone or something to be saved. And if they’re not out doing heroic acts they’re doing the “moody-standing-on-the-edge-of-a-building-in-the-rain” thing.

Let’s stick to being normal. Clearly being a superhero sucks. I rather have my kids think I’m average, normal or even quite boring. It might not be the coolest but at least we’ll be able to create a good bond with our kids. A bond that is built on the knowledge that you are human, there for them every day and not just someone that swooshes in at the end of the day doing a funny face and then bolting out again. If we need to be a superhero, let’s be Family Man.

CJ Malmsten is father of one daughter, expecting a second child in November. He’s currently working as a Copywriter at King (makers of Candy Crush Saga) and chasing his goal of writing every day for an entire year. Visit for daily posts.