Sex is very good for a marriage. In addition to the myriad health benefits — regularly testing out the mattress springs helps reduce blood pressure, boost libido, cut the risk of prostate cancer in men, fight stress, and keep hearts strong — sex increases feelings of intimacy, trust, and, of course, love. In short, sex helps keep a relationship healthy. For parents, who are often overworked, stressed, and tired, it’s a necessary way to keep their relationship strong when other factors might be working against it. So, try to prioritize it. Hell, schedule it if you need to. And if you’re looking for some sex positions to use during your next go at it, here are 12 to try when you’re tired, trying to keep things quiet, or just are looking for some inspiration. Variety, of course, is also very good for a relationship.
The Best Sex Positions That Won’t Wake the Kids
The Stand and Deliver
One of the most common culprits of noisy sex is a squeaky bed. If you’re looking to quiet things down, think about getting it on outside the sheets. Have your partner station his or her hands against the wall. You can enter them from behind and feel around from there.
The About Face
The inverse of the spooning position. You’re both still on your sides, but this time, you’re facing each other. “Face-to-face positions let you occupy your mouths with kissing, which may stifle the tendency to shout out,” Carol Queen, Ph.D, resident sexologist at intimacy site Good Vibrations, told us. “It’s also very sexy and intimate.”
Because this position doesn’t revolve around penetration, you don’t have to worry about all the noise a thrust can carry. But experts agree that the carnal configuration belongs in every couple’s repertoire. Plus, it’s going to keep your mouths occupied, leaving little room for noise to escape. The carnal configuration is beneficial to both parties and can be done with you on the bottom, top, or side-to-side positions
The Best Sex Positions For When You’re Exhausted
“Although simple in nature, cowgirl with her on top is one of the best positions for when you’re tired because it requires minimal effort,” says Mackenzie Riel, advice columnist and sex educator for the adult online retailer, TooTimid. It’s hard not to see the logic behind this suggestion. It’s one of those rare occasions where you can, in fact, just lie there. Of course, that’s not always the way you want to approach sex, but it might just be the best option when both tired and horny.
If both you and your partner are feeling sleepy, you might want to try this one out. Spoon sex allows both parties to remain lying down, which means neither of you will have to exert much effort. It’s also one that lends itself to different paces. If you want to go slow, you can. If things start picking up mid-coitus, well, that’s also an option.
Another positions that keeps you and your partner comfortable. For this one, lie on your side. Your partner, meanwhile, should lie on her back, perpendicular to you. Have her shimmy up towards your pelvis and position her legs over your hips. From there, you know what to do
The Best Sex Positions For When You Want to Last Longer
“Here, you’re basically going to sit, criss-cross-applesauce on each other,” Bethany Ricciardi, a sex educator for the sex toy retailer, TooTimid, told Fatherly. “He will sit down and cross his legs and his partner will sit on top of him.” This position is very sweet and very sensual. It’s also one that limits a guy’s ability to move too quickly, which is important when trying to prolong sex. “She can move up and down and round-and-round, but there’s really no way he can start delivering, fast intense thrusts to reach his climax,” says Ricciardi. To give the woman further control in this position, Ricciardi suggests wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning back. “It will provide a nice visual tease, and encourage more shallow penetration, helping him last longer,” she says.
Ah, the spoon again. She’s on her side. You’re on your side. You shimmy up behind her. Typically, she’ll stick her butt out, and maybe lift a leg. “This position helps guys last longer because, for the most part, you’re snuggled so close there isn’t much room for quick thrusts,” said Ricciardi. “The closer you get the better for this one.” Plus, she says, this position requires some careful maneuvering, which means he’ll have to focus on something other than finishing up fast. “If he gets too excited and starts going faster he’s more likely to slip out. He’ll be forced to bump and grind with slow, steady movements.”
Anything But the One You Love
This tip doesn’t focus on what position you should try so much as it does positions to avoid. “At the end of the day, we all have our favorite positions, and they’re most likely our favorite because they create the best feeling,” says Ricciardi. “If you know what position you enjoy sex the most in, wait until the end of play for it.” So try to hold out.
The Best Sex Positions For When You Want to Try Something Crazy
The Rising Sun
Think of this one as a more elaborate missionary move. In this position, the woman lays before you on the bed or couch, while you stand. “Use your arms to lift her hips up while you penetrate her,” Dr. Laura Berman, brand ambassador for Forta, explained to Fatherly. “This will require strong biceps and core control.”
The Standing Salutation
This one requires some heavy lifting. To start, remain standing. When you’re ready, lift your partner up and ask her to wrap her legs around your waist. And then let the penetration begin. “It may be useful to try this position against a wall or doorframe so your partner can use her back to help with leverage and angle of depth,” suggests Berman. “This will require a lot of strength and power.”
The Wheel Barrow
An oldie, but a goodie. Have your partner kneel before you on the bed or couch or floor. Then, lift up her feet as though you are doing a ‘wheelbarrow’ race and penetrate her from this angle. “She will be supporting herself on her hands, or she can use her elbows if she prefers but you will be doing most of the heavy lifting,” says Berman.