Fidget spinners are many things to many people. Some see the break-out toy of 2017 as a three-pronged nuisance, while others see it as a tool with real psychological value, still others see it as simple time-waster that can conjure up rainbows. One Russian reporter even believes the toys are engineered to undermine his government
During a recent broadcast, Alexey Kazakov, a host for the state-run channel Rossiya 24, explained why he believes that fidget spinners are evil machines that will motivate the people to rise up and overthrow the Kremlin once and for all. How? Well, according to a translation by Newsweek, Kazakov believes that a fidget spinner “makes a person impressionable for manipulation.”
Like any good conspiracy theorist, Alexey has built his idea into a whole web of theories that reach the highest levels of clearance. Through several segments, he’s explained why the toy is here to manipulate the Russian populous and he believes that the U.S. government has a role in this sinister plan. Why? Well, because the toys were an American invention, Alexey is convinced that they are being used to help those who are in opposition to the government. Naturally.
How, exactly, a fidget spinner is able to manipulate is something never explained by Alexey. But that doesn’t stop him from saying that spinners are used by the opposition to “pacify followers and distract them from real issues.”
Fidget spinners are used by opposition to pacify followers and distract them from real issues. Because that's what opposition usually does.
— Alexey Kovalyov (@Alexey__Kovalev) July 12, 2017
There are a lot of ludicrous conspiracies out there and Alexey’s is certainly one of them. It’s pretty safe to say that the toys, while definitely a nuisance, are not part of some nefarious plot to opiate the masses. The only scheme fidget spinner manufacturers are into is the one that involves making the ball bearings inside so shoddy that they break every other week, forcing you to buy a new spinner. Because that one is real, sheeple.