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Julia Barnes for Fatherly

The Very Best Dad Jokes to Bring on the Groans

Dad jokes shouldn’t be something you’re embarrassed about. Own them.

When it comes to dad jokes, the key is not to try too hard to be funny. It’s all about the casual delivery and inevitable silence before the audience realizes what corniness just ensued. The best dad jokes might also be referred to as bad jokes, but that’s not always the case. Dad jokes are a little corny, sure, but that doesn’t mean they’re not legitimately funny. They lighten the mood and encourage everyone not to take themselves so seriously. After all, a sense of humor is a parent’s best weapon.

Below, grouped by categories — food, science, animals, pop culture, and tech — we’ve compiled some of the best dad jokes around. Obviously, you don’t have to admit you found the jokes here.  But don’t be surprised when these dad jokes bring on the groans. That’s what dad jokes are for.

Funny Dad Jokes About Animals

Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted.

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Q: How do moths swim?
A: Using the butterfly stroke.

Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: 10 tickles.

Q: Do you know the story about the chicken that crossed the border?
A: Me neither, I couldn’t follow it.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk!

Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A: Toad.

Q: Where do baby cats learn to swim?
A: The kitty pool.

Q: Why are spiders so smart?
A: They can find everything on the web.

Q: How can a leopard change his spots?
A: By moving.

Q: What did the duck say when it bought chapstick?
A: Put it on my bill!

Q: What does a cow use to do math?
A: A cow-culator

Funny Dad Jokes About Science

Q: Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity?
A: It’s impossible to put down.

Q: Which is faster, hot or cold?
A: Hot, because you can catch a cold.

Q: What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
A: Dung!

Q: What did the Photon say when asked if she needed to check a bag?
A: No thanks, I’m traveling light!

Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet.

Q: Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
A: It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

Q: Why are skeletons so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved.

Q. Why did everyone enjoy being around the volcano?
A. It’s just so lava-ble.

Q. What kind of music do the planets listen to?
A. Nep-tunes!

Q. What did the big flower say to the tiny flower?
A. Hey there bud!

Q. What did Mars ask Saturn?
A. Hey, can you give me a ring some time?

Funny Dad Jokes About Food

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta.

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Q: What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg.

Q: What did the baby corn ask mama corn?
A: Where’s my pop corn?

Q: Why couldn’t the poppy seed get off the hill?
A: It was on a roll.

Q: Why did the onion get flustered?
A: It saw the salad dressing.

Q: Why is the hot pepper the nosiest vegetable?
A: It can’t help but get Jalapéno space.

Funny Dad Jokes About Movies and Pop Culture

Q: What do you call it when Batman skips church?
A: Christian Bale.

Q: How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
A: You follow the fresh prints.

Q: How do celebrities stay cool?
A: They have many fans.

Q: What’s Forrest Gump’s Facebook password?
A: 1forest1.

Q: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.

Q: Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
A: He’s fully recovered.

Q: Why did the coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarter back.

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?
A: Fo’ Drizzle.

Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician?
A: Pick a cod, any cod.

Q: If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, what would they be called?
A: Alloys.

Funny Dad Jokes About Technology

Q: What does a baby computer call his father?
A: Data.

Q: Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?
A: He thought he could socket to him.

Q: Why did the computer have no money left?
A: Someone cleaned out its cache!

Q: What’s a computer’s favorite snack?
A: Microchips!

Q: Why was the robot so tired after his road trip?
A: He had a hard drive.