Everything You Need To Know About Parenting In 8 Adam Sandler Quotes

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Given that Adam Sandler has made a career out of playing obnoxious man-children, it might come as a surprise that he’s actually a husband and father of 2 girls. And, while it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t actually pee his pants or trading punches with Bob Barker at home, it’s also safe to assume that he’s not your average, run-of-the-mill father. After all, he wasn’t in character when he wrote ‘The Hanukkah Song,’ now was he?

On His Celebrity Social Life
“My kids give me the most joy, but there are life adjustments. I don’t go out to meet anyone after 9:30 at night. I eat dinner at 6 or 7. If someone makes me stay out until 10:30 at night, I’m angry the entire next day because I’m exhausted.”

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On How Money Changes Everything
“I try to do the right thing, but with the amount of money I have, it’s difficult to raise the children the way I was raised. I took away the West and North wing of the house from those guys. They’re not allowed in there, and so far I think that’s working.”

On Date Night
“Last night, my wife and I were falling asleep at 8 and we said, ‘No, we’re not giving into this sleep. Maybe we should go see a movie after the kids fall asleep.’ Well, the kids weren’t falling. I’m in one room saying, ’20 more minutes until they fall asleep.’ The next thing I know, I walk out of that room and my wife and my other daughter are curled up sleeping. I’m up half the night with the other one. Welcome to parenthood.”

On His Cred With The Kids
“Honestly, at school, I’m like Santa. The kids love me and flock around me. It doesn’t make me cool. I’m just a guy with a lot of kids around him.”

On How To Properly Praise Them
“This is good advice: When you go swimming with the kids, when you’re kids go off the diving board, and they say, ‘Daddy watch this!’, and they do something like a cartwheel off the diving board and land in the pool, you have to delay your reaction. I got yelled at [because], they did the cartwheel and I yelled, ‘Yeah that’s awesome!’, and then they come out of the water and I’m just staring at them. They’re like, ‘You didn’t like it,’ and I’m like, ‘No I said it was awesome!’, and they say, ‘No no I didn’t hear it!'”

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On Their Lack Of Gratitude
“The best thing about my kids’ school is you can show up any day you want and have lunch with your kids. But you better show up with an In-N-Out burger. Same night, the kids won’t want to go to bed. My best parental technique is to look shocked and say, ‘Go to bed. Don’t you remember the In-N-Out Burger?!'”

On Abstaining From Vices
“Last night I couldn’t sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, ‘What can I do?’ I’m watching TV. I’m like, ‘Let me do something else.’ I’m not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn’t come up with anything. I was going, ‘God, read a book.’ Then I was like this, ‘Where do I keep the books?’ I’ve got nothing to do but watch TV.”

On Bedtime Rituals
“I’m not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, ‘All right! Get out of the room.'”

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