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Who Screamed It: Tantrumming Toddler or Heavy Metal Band?

The similarities between the two are very apparent. Can you guess which is which?

Toddlers are wonderful. But they’re also little rage hellions known to thrash their heads and wail and scream. And, in that way, they’re not too different from another rage-y group: the lead singers of metal bands. They both exhibit serious aggression, they both have incredible lung capacity, and they both scream nonsensical phrases in vocal cord-shredding volumes. Looking into it, we found that, put side by side, heavy metal lyrics and toddler rage-phrases are kind of hard to tell apart. Seriously, give it a try. We asked parents to share a few of their favorite phrases from their tantrumming kids and put them alongside some heavy metal lyrics. See if you can figure out which came from which (answers come below). Then, consider recording your kid’s tantrums for later use. You never know what kind of music they’ll end up making.

1. “We raise the black flag and ready our attaccckkk!”

2. “I will smash everrryything in this placeeee!”

3. “Play to kill, play to kill. Can’t you see that we play?”

4. “Who do you think you are, creature?!”

5. “But the world is crumbling down, don’t you see??”

6. “But I don’t care — this endless journey will never take me home!”

7. “How many chances do I get to find redemption? When I’ve been low so many times.”

8. “Let me out of here or I’ll be forced to break free!”

9. “It’s time to cry! It’s time to cry…for sadness!”

10. “He wants it all. She wants it all. They want it all. But there’s a wall

 

Answers:

  1. Heavy Metal Lyric (From “Set Sail & Conquer” by Alestorm)
  2. Toddler (Simon, age 3; context: “He was in a store and wanted a toy on the shelf; we said no.”)
  3. Heavy Metal Lyric (From “Play to Kill” by Primal Fear)
  4. Toddler (Fiona, age 2 ½; context: “She just said it out of the blue one day during a mini-meltdown. It stands as the funniest shit she’s ever said.”)
  5. Toddler (Nolan, age 3; context: “He was freaking out that his Lego building fell over.”)
  6. Heavy Metal Lyric (From “Let it Roar” by Battle Beast)
  7. Heavy Metal Lyric (From “Stand For Something” by Orange Goblin)
  8. Toddler (Ben, age 2; context: “He was being fresh with his sister so we put him in time out in his crib he did not like it.”)
  9. Toddler (Sophia, age 3; context: “She was having a meltdown at the grocery store; this was her response to ‘Why are you upset?)
  10. Heavy Metal Lyric (From “No Air” by Red Fang)
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