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51 Questions for Couples to Ask on Their Next Date Night

Because there's always more to learn about someone.

Curiosity is one of the hallmarks of a healthy marriage. Couples who stay interested in one another, who want to learn about their spouse on a deeper level and put forth the effort to do so are not only more satisfied and connected over the years but also able to help one another through the tough times. Now, of course, the best questions for couples require more than wondering to yourself “Why is this person the way they are?” when they do something weird or infuriating; it requires asking good questions — and really wanting to hear the answers.

No, every night shouldn’t read like a 60 Minutes sit-down. What we’re saying is that you should, on date nights or those evenings when you’re scanning endlessly through Netflix and never figuring a show to watch, make it a point to ask one another a few questions. No, these date-night questions for couples don’t all need to be incredibly deep. In fact, some should be completely silly or creative and make you both laugh or think. Both people must be willing to answer them honestly (This doesn’t really work well if you just shrug and say, “I dunno”). So, be a participant. And regardless of what you ask, chances are, during the process you’ll be surprised to learn something new.

To get you started, here are 51 questions for couples to ask.

  1. What CD would have been the soundtrack to your high school years?
  2. What was the most scared you’d ever felt when you were a child?
  3. What was the happiest you remember being as a child?
  4. What is your most cherished childhood memory?
  5. Aside from kids what do you think is your biggest accomplishment?
  6. If you could do anything in the world right now, what would it be?
  7. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
  8. What personal philosophy do you try to live by? 
  9. What do you think your co-workers would say was your worst quality? Your best?
  10. If you had to choose one to be real, what would you prefer: ghosts or aliens?
  11. If there is a heaven, what do you think it looks like?
  12. If you had $5,000 to donate to any charity right now, what would it be and why?
  13. If you could start a non-profit or charity organization tomorrow, what would you choose to start?
  14. What is your love language? 
  15. When you’re feeling extremely stressed, what’s the best thing someone can do for you?
  16. If you were having a birthday party and could invite only three of your friends, who would you invite?
  17. What are you most proud of about yourself?
  18. Tell me a story about a scar you have.
  19. Did you ever break a bone? What happened?
  20. If you could talk to your teenage self what would you tell them?
  21. Do you have any superstitions?
  22. Name three petty things that drive you nuts.
  23. What’s the one story your friends like to share about you?
  24. What qualities of mine do you hope the kids receive? What qualities of yours?
  25. What qualities of mine do you hope the kids don’t receive? What qualities of yours?
  26. What was the biggest lie you ever told as a kid? As an adult?
  27. What was the sneakiest thing you ever did?
  28. What was the most trouble you ever got in when you were in high school?
  29. What about yourself do you think you still need to work on?
  30. What was your favorite vacation when you were a kid?
  31. Did you ever break someone’s heart?
  32. If you could shrink down any animal to house cat size and have it as a pet, what would you choose?
  33. What do you wish your parents did or didn’t do more often?
  34. What qualities of your parents are you happy to have?
  35. If you could have any career in the world, what would it be?
  36. If you start a business tomorrow, what would you sell?
  37. What are you struggling with inside that you don’t tell anyone about?
  38. Would you rather have a tail or claws?
  39. If you could only eat one desert for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  40. What would you say is your guiltiest pleasure?
  41. What is something you want to try in the bedroom?
  42. If we were to bring costumes into the bedroom, what costume would you want to wear?
  43. What was the best concert/show you ever attended?
  44. What has been your most embarrassing moment? What happened?
  45. Do you have a recurring dream or nightmare? If so, what is it?
  46. What do I do that makes you laugh the most?
  47. What do you wish I would stop doing so much?
  48. Is there something you think I need to pay more attention to?
  49. What one thing makes you most worried about the future?
  50. What one thing makes you most excited about the future?
  51. If you were to take part in a talent show in an hour, what talent would you showcase?